Sunday, August 2, 2009

On this Sunday afternoon....

We are busy working around outside. Getting things cleaned up. We haven't been great at keeping up with the yardwork this year. Haven't put much effort into it thinking we may be moving at some point. We now we have decided the house is never going to sell, so we better DO something to improve it! :)
So we've been busy outside and it's perfect out there. We had a great church service this weekend and my head it just spinning as I scurry around the house. So much to be thankful for, yet my heart hurts in other ways. Just feeling kind of weird.
We are getting close to the end of the summer. Our house has been on the market for 6 months. We'll be sending Nalani to kindergarten this year. I tear up every time I think about it. She's so sensitive. She will be one that follows all the rules and is polite and raises her hand. That student that teachers dream of...yet I'm afraid she'll fall between the cracks in other areas. Right or wrong, I just want it to be an easy adjustment for her. I'm worried about her. I can't help it. Part of me wants to tuck her under my wing and keep her there all warm and safe forever. But I know she will surprise me and grow so much this year. I remember worrying about sending Brigg off. This time is a little different. Different concerns with her. But I know I don't have to worry about having that "talk" with her about sticking up for the underdog and raising her hand and respecting her teacher. She "gets" all that. It's natural for her. Compassion, respect, love, that is who she is. It's the other side of the coin for her that concerns me. I've been putting off thinking about it for a while, but we're coming up on the big day now and I'm stressed.
Ugh.
Brigg is going into second grade. He's hilarious and fine. But second grade will be an adjustment for him. The 2 teachers run very tight ships. He may struggle with that at first. He's a boy. Who likes to talk and be silly and mess around. He's going to learn a lot this year. I probably don't run as tight of ship as I should sometimes, so he'll learn a whole new way of doing things. :) It's a good thing. But he may not love it!
And Ayla...oh Ayla. She bites. She hits. I'm struggling with her. Don't know how to deal with this. She's hot or cold. Kissing or biting. Hugging or hitting. Laughing or screaming. Hmmmm....wonder where in the world she gets that! She's teaching me so much more about being a parent. Not that I had it figured out before she came along, but I thought I was better than this.
Found out that a friend is losing their house. I'm just sick about it. My heart aches and I feel at a loss over it. What can I possibly do to help the situation? Yuck. Just so sad. Horrible situation.
So my head and heart are spinning today. Lots to get done as we head out on our Maine vacation on Thursday. But I feel like things just aren't "right". But will they ever be on this side of heaven? No. So we just keep moving forward. Doing the best we can. Praying for those divine interruptions to change us again and again.
Deep thoughts by Cassie........
:)

2 comments:

Tisha said...

Can totally relate to the weirdness you feel. Grateful/aching for others who are hurting/yearning for something to happen (selling your house!)/letting go as our kids grow/anticipation of transition....all at the same time for different situations, friends, children, loved ones.
I enjoyed reading deep thoughts by Cassie : )

Trish said...

Thanks for the deep thoughts, bonus is you still have a vacation, have fun can't wait to see the pictures.