Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Once in a while...

To be honest, I usually go to bed at night feeling like I have failed at this whole "stay-at-home mom" thing.
Not to the point that I am completely beating myself up, but to the point of feeling a little defeated.
Most days I feel like I probably would be much better at a desk job.
I would say that the majority of mornings I wake up and make a decision....either I will be a housewife first or a mom first.
I rarely feel like I succeed at both in a day.
If I am super productive around the house, I feel like I failed a bit at mothering.
If the kids' tanks are full, I look around me at night and feel overwhelmed by the mess.
And I think most stay at home moms have it figured out, but I just can't seem to figure it out myself.
So I can get down on myself sometimes and feel frustrated by it all.
I just can't find that balance between well-kept house and kids with most of their needs met.
But once in a while I get a day like today.
We woke up to snow and dangerously cold temps...the perfect excuse to stay in ALL DAY.
No school, no activities. I had gone to the grocery store last night.
And somehow I pulled it off.
I spent time with each child.
I did dishes and a couple loads of laundry in between.
I stayed on top of keeping things picked up.
And at the end of the day, the kids were bathed, fed and loved on.
I tucked them into bed and the dishwasher was running.
I spent a mere 15 minutes picking things up before I called it a day.
Nothing spectacular, but everything done sufficient.
I am not bragging here people. Just the opposite really.
I need to figure out why I can't do this regularly.
I am not looking for perfection.
But for tonight I will bask in the glory of a good day....and tomorrow I'll try to analyze why it was good and how it can be repeated!! :)
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Amy said...

Let me know if you figure it out... most days I feel like a failure, too. Some more than others, anyway. But there are those great days and moments, too. :)

Naomi said...

I feel the EXACT same way. Just exactly like you just said it.

Courtney said...

oh, yes. the battle. but i just cling to His grace and am thankful for the constant forgiveness of my kids and Pat. and i plug on...

Candi said...

That is life here on earth.... moments of pure delight but usually feeling not quite right about a lot of things. If it were right most times, we'd have nothing to strive toward and would not be so eager to go home, our eternal one. Nuggetts of gold, just grab them when they're there and hold on to them and keep them in your heart for those not so great times. You are doing just fine as a stay at home mom, better than most I think :) So happy you had such a good day yesterday... now what is today going to hold?!??? : ) (I'm commenting a day after you posted here you see)

Beckysblog said...

Dont be too hard on yourself. I think fewer of us have it figured out than you think!

Tisha said...

Nobody has it figrued out completely, do they? I think if they say they do, they are not telling the truth :) It is nice though to occasionally have a really good and balanced day!