Got this in my inbox today. It cracked me up. And I'm sure all you moms out there could add to the list!
1st baby:You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby:You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby:Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby:You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby:You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
1st baby:You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby:You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby:Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
1st baby:At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby:You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby:You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier:
1st baby:If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby:When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby:You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering:
1st baby:You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby:You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby:You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities:
1st baby:You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby:You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby:You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
1st baby:The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby :Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby:You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby:You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby:You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins:
1st child:When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child:When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child:When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance.
1st baby:You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby:You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby:Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby:You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby:You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
1st baby:You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby:You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby:Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
1st baby:At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby:You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby:You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier:
1st baby:If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby:When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby:You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering:
1st baby:You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby:You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby:You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities:
1st baby:You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby:You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby:You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
1st baby:The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby :Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby:You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby:You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby:You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins:
1st child:When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child:When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child:When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance.
2 comments:
Glad I can help you crack up!!! :) I thought it was funny and I don't even have little ones yet :)))) Lots to look forward too!
imagine with child #6...
it's embarrassing how true those are.
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