After my grandma's memorial service this weekend, we had a 4.5 hour drive home.
The kids watched a movie or slept most of the way. Paul and I had lots of time to talk and think.
Funerals have a way of moving things around in your brain to create a clearer vision for what you want your life to look like.
The fact of the matter is, nobody escapes death. Every single person dies. Could be today, could be decades from now, but it is coming.
So we started talking about our legacy. How will we be remembered? What will be said at our funerals that everyone will perk up to and say, "Oh my gosh. That is Cassie/Paul in a nutshell!"
How do we want people to remember us?
Are we living our lives in a way that we are actually LIVING OUT who we WANT to be?
Or are we just getting though each day? Thinking about the kind of person we wish we could be and doing nothing to get there.
I don't know. But I'm thinking about it. And hoping I'm moving in the right direction.
Our kids.
They are watching.
And taking notes.
As they get older I feel a deeper sense of urgency to be an example to them. So one day, at my funeral they can say "Our mom. She oozed compassion and courage and faith and love and justice and excitement for life. When she walked into the room you could feel it. She stood up for what she believed in, even when it may not have been the most popular choice. She lived out what she believed in."
I know how I want them to see. But am I living it? I'm not so sure. And we only get one shot at this life. So I'll keep trying. Keep believing that I can be more and do more and love more. And I'll keep praying for the strength I need to be better.
I told you...this funeral really got me thinking.
2 comments:
they will say that and more.
you are a gift to this world cassie.
a gift.
beauty and light, and it is an honor to call you friend.
Good grief girl.... don't make me think of what I'd read at YOUR funeral... ha!! BUT I have thought of what folks might say of me as well... sometimes I think I am failing miserably and other times I love what I do and who I truly do it for. All we can do is strive for our best, use the gifts He gave us for His purposes and love like there is no tomorrow. :) My thoughts after we headed home and as we talked about the weekend, were of how very blessed and happy I am to be married to your dad, how proud I am to call my 3 children, "my" children and of course the fact that God even used little Ayla to reach into the very depths of many who met her amongst the family & friends and gave me great joy. My grand children did me proud each & every one and they were like little showers of heaven sprinkled over the entire weekend. The families you all have become and continue to grow into... is touching and exciting to watch unfold. :) I looked back and I saw God's fingerprints all over the place : ) and I felt loved and happy and honored to have been a part of such a beautiful gathering. I guess in the end, it doesn't really matter what most think of me but rather what God does. I hope that my thoughts and actions reflect my great love for Him and all He has done for us. Without Him, nothing much would really matter in the whole scheme of things.. my prayers are that I will shine for Him in every situation and that it will be recognized for all the right reasons, ya know? I certainly know I fail miserably at times but I want to do better, be better and love better...with all my heart. You have some amazing friends and with wonderful aspirations in this life, you are on the right track. It is not always easy to please man, but more important to please God. Good things in life, aren't always easy but oh so worth the effort. All good and perfect gifts come from God... He has truly blessed our family with many!!! Praise be !! :) To Marg.... may she always bring joy to our hearts until we meet again.... : )
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