After my grandma's memorial service this weekend, we had a 4.5 hour drive home.
The kids watched a movie or slept most of the way. Paul and I had lots of time to talk and think.
Funerals have a way of moving things around in your brain to create a clearer vision for what you want your life to look like.
The fact of the matter is, nobody escapes death. Every single person dies. Could be today, could be decades from now, but it is coming.
So we started talking about our legacy. How will we be remembered? What will be said at our funerals that everyone will perk up to and say, "Oh my gosh. That is Cassie/Paul in a nutshell!"
How do we want people to remember us?
Are we living our lives in a way that we are actually LIVING OUT who we WANT to be?
Or are we just getting though each day? Thinking about the kind of person we wish we could be and doing nothing to get there.
I don't know. But I'm thinking about it. And hoping I'm moving in the right direction.
They are watching.
And taking notes.
As they get older I feel a deeper sense of urgency to be an example to them. So one day, at my funeral they can say "Our mom. She oozed compassion and courage and faith and love and justice and excitement for life. When she walked into the room you could feel it. She stood up for what she believed in, even when it may not have been the most popular choice. She lived out what she believed in."
I know how I want them to see. But am I living it? I'm not so sure. And we only get one shot at this life. So I'll keep trying. Keep believing that I can be more and do more and love more. And I'll keep praying for the strength I need to be better.
I told you...this funeral really got me thinking.