Ayla...approaching age 3

Ayla.
Oh Ayla.
This child makes me...
laugh.
cry.
breathe deeply.
count to 10.
ache in my heart.
She is something.

This is the child that has taught me that I know nothing about parenting.
After 3 children, I now know I have no idea what I am doing.
I love her so much.
So much it hurts.
And she makes me so mad.
So mad I literally tear up sometimes.
And she makes me laugh so hard.
So hard at the most inappropriate times.

Ayla is the child that we didn't know we needed.
She is full of IT.
IT can be a lot of things.
She can be full of curiosity.
Talk about asking WHY? all the time. She's the queen of why?
She can be full of aggression.
She's our one and only "biter".
She still bites when she gets pushed around by her big sister...who usually is just trying to keep her in the bubble of protection.
But man, it makes Ayla mad.
She's been known to bite, hit, push, and scream an ear-piercing scream for the slightest of offenses.
She can be full of humor.
I've never known a 2 year-old with a better sense of humor.
She gets jokes.
And she makes jokes.
Can 2 year-olds be witty?
If so, then she is.

She can be full of love.
When we were in the Ozarks last month Paul and I were in the pool with her.
Paul was holding her and she had her arm around his neck.
She looked over at me and said, "Mom. Come here. I want two necks."
I walked over and she put her other arm around my neck and smiled her hilarious Ayla smile.
And it's stuck. She says "I want two necks" all the time now.
Which could possibly be followed with a slap in the face mere seconds after that Ayla smile if you aren't careful.
I'm serious.

Ayla is assertive.
Passionate.
Motivated.
Stubborn.
Funny.
Imaginative.
Wise beyond her years.
Even as I type this, it sounds silly. I'm sure some of you are wondering how a 2 year-old can be those things. Again, I tell you, I have no idea.
She is one-of-a-kind.

And I am looking so forward to spending my days with just Ayla this year.
She is amazing one-on-one.
She looks you in the eyes.
She demands it.
She knows when you are listening halfheartedly and she'll put one hand on each cheek and turn your face towards her and look deep in your eyes.
She'll say, "Do you understand?" (no, i have no idea where she learned that:))
She is teaching me to be fully in the moment and I love that about her.

All of these qualities I describe in Ayla will make for a very successful adult, I'm certain.
But they do make a very trying toddler at times.
And then there are those times when my heart explodes with love for her.
Sometimes hundreds of times a day.
I treasure the time we spend together right before bed.
She hugs my neck as I pray for her.
She says, "Mom, let's talk."
And she looks me in the eyes and sees my soul, I swear.

So tomorrow she will join me as we drop the "big kids" off at school.
And then it'll be back to just Ayla and I.
I'm kind of excited. And I know she's ready for some quality time with just me.
I have been plans to work on channeling her energy for good.
To reconnect with her during our days together.
And to just plain love on her.
Oh Ayla, I love you so much. I have no idea how we survived without you in our lives.
Our little Ayla bean.
One-of-a-kind, indeed.