burback family

on having kids...

2012-01-29T21:00:00.003-06:00

the things i love about have 3 kids are endless. i could go on and on.
but honestly, i think one of the things i love the most is my chance to be introduced to new things over and over.
see, somehow our kids don't always love the same things we love.
i know...shocking.
i think it's in our nature to lead them towards those things that make our blood pump. that bring us great joy. but our passions are not their passions.
and i love that.
i want to embrace that.
because i am being introduced to a whole new world with each of these kids.
recently it has been lani.
she has been trying to find her niche for a while. she has tried softball, cheerleading, dance and gymnastics. and in true lani fashion, she has tolerated each and every one of them. but she just hasn't loved any of them.
until she found horses.
oh my word.
she has found her passion. she literally dreams about riding horses. i've caught her mid-horse dream. so sweet.
so we started lessons last year. every other week. and she caught on quickly.
we decided to "lease" a horse starting this month. so basically she can go ride bridget anytime she wants. but we are not responsible for anything else.
i love it.
all the perks, no responsibility.
:)
yesterday her horse riding teacher gave us a crash course in getting lani all set up when she wasn't there to help.
and today was our first time alone.
HYsteriCAL.
oh my goodness.
trust me...you all wish you would have been there.
the horse almost got loose.
as in running for for open door and the teenagers there yelling "shut the door! shut the door!" fortunately for us, they shut it in time.
crisis #1 averted.
we needed help like 46 times in the 2 hours we were there.
i hate feeling stupid.
i do.
i wanted to walk out and say "nevermind. we have no idea what we are doing. we don't want to lease her."
but lani was so happy. even through my stupidity and ignorance, she was glowing.
so we will press on.
and we will make sure she knows that her riding is just as important to us as brigg's baseball tournaments. that we value her passions as much as our own.
and maybe...just maybe...we will eventually be able to go to the barn and decipher between a bridle and a saddle and a lead rope and bit.
it's a steep learning curve people. very very steep.
but we love her and it's worth it.
as you can see...brigg was ecstatic.
really, it was a fun sunday afternoon at the barn. i'm sure we have many more to look forward to in the near future.
oh...and she's joining the clover kids. 4H. i have no idea what to expect. but we are embracing it.

Saturday

2012-01-28T16:50:00.003-06:00

it's a green chili kind of day.
pinned this several weeks ago and decided to make it today.
we have been doing a "cleanse" of sorts.
no meat during the week at all.
so we are really looking forward to this tonight...

all of our bathroom parts came in and got picked up yesterday.
everything is sitting here.
in my living room.
waiting to be installed.
my painting professional lady is delivering our buffet/vanity tomorrow.
it.is.gorgeous.
i'm not kidding.
i am IN LOVE with it!
paul is in the garage right now painting the outside of the claw foot tub.
plumber coming tuesday.
mudder/texturizer coming next weekend.
FINALLY it feels like we may get this room finished.
can't wait to share photos!

we decided to start leasing a horse for lani.
basically she can go ride now anytime she likes.
she is also going to join the clover kids.
she is SO excited. i really never thought i'd have a child who was in 4-H. it was never on my radar as a child. but this fits lani perfectly. and to see her with her horse is so awesome. i'm so happy we have found her niche. so excited for her.

happy weekend to all. happy happy weekend.

(and mother. and teacher.)

2012-01-27T09:09:00.002-06:00

Finding this to be so true on my parenting/teaching journey. Especially with Ayla.
She watches.
All.The.Time.
I have actually seen her reenacting things that I do in front of her.
Kind of freaks me out.
Been thinking a lot about "Less words. More Action."
In the past I have been big on words. Lots of words.
But now I'm seeing how those words mean nothing if not backed up by actions.
5th graders.
Yikes.
They are watching. And taking notes. I think the words mean so much when backed up by the actions.
So my thought for the day and mission statement for this year.
Less words. More Action.

New life

2012-01-26T16:00:00.000-06:00

i have a new life.
and it's kinda nuts and totally different and not what i expected.
i've always kept myself busy. always. sometimes i even think i might have ADHD. i like to DO stuff all the time. i like to be active and busy and moving.
so it's not new that my life is nuts. but it's just a different kind of nuts.
i was talking to an old friend yesterday and mentioned something about being in a perfectly behaved classroom that was quiet and calm. he said, "honestly, cassie? you would not like it. you would miss the grind. you would miss the madnesss."
i have these moments of wanting peace. i was chatting with another friend and blurted out, "WHY DO I HAVE TO GET SO WORKED UP?? why do i have to CARE about this so much? why do i have to get splotchy and feel my blood pressure rise and feel so damn passionate about stuff? WHY? I just want to be even. ALL THE TIME. just chill and even."
she laughed.
because it's hysterical. me? even-keeled? BBBAAAHAHHHAAAAHHHAAA.
so then i tried saying that i just want to fit in box. at least let me just care about ONE or TWO things. and they are located in the same box. because my brains is frazzled. and intense and fried.
how can i possibly love the big city yet want to live in a tiny house in the wilderness? in one month how can i attend a women's ministry meeting, read deep stuff about saving the planet, volunteer to be a part of a technology committee working towards casting the vision of technology in our classrooms, get my nosed pierced and a tattoo on my ring finger, present to my church about buying stoves for families in Haiti, attend a poverty training meeting, buy a kayak, plan a trip to michigan, go to a hawkeye basketball game, baby-sit my foster nephew, watch The Help, make bread from scratch, take a train to chicago, do a cleanse, turn the compost, do yoga, make a dinner out of all canned food from my garden, play words with friends, lead a PTO meeting and still be alive to blog about it?
my mind is spinning at a million miles a minute.
constantly.
it's a love/hate relationship i have with my brain.
but apparently the idea of my just stopping it all is funny.
to lots of people.
myself included.
let's see....started this job in august. still working on balance. i love everything i am doing.
but i just need to find more of those calm, peaceful moments.
in my technology committee meeting this week, we did a "reflection" of the first day.
it was like an a-ha moment for me.
more reflection, cassie...more reflection.
i used to be good at that. something had to give and that was one of the things.
so here i am again. resurrecting the blog is the plan. we shall see.
my biggest blog issue has been the fact that i now have 2 computers.
i don't download my pictures on my school computer. which, by the way, where in the world is my camera? i don't think i've gotten it out in 2 months.
secondly, my wireless "hot spot" got stolen. so we don't have internet at our house. i just have my phone. and i filed a police report but have heard nothing. and verizon won't release info to me, just the police.
it's whacked.
kind of like my brain.
so how's that for a random blog post?
are ready for me?
these upcoming blogs could be nuts.
i'm baaaaaaaaacccckkkkk....

You...plus 2!

2012-01-12T12:16:00.001-06:00

It's been two years since the devastating earthquake in Haiti. Half a million people are still living in tents and in extreme poverty. But the good news is that great progress is being made this year.

I want to be part of that great progress, so I made this goal of finding at least two people who will recognize this anniversary by sponsoring a charcoal-efficient stove for a family in Haiti. And maybe those two people will inspire two more people to remember Haiti.

These stoves are revolutionary -- simple and sustainable solutions to major global issues. By sponsoring a stove, you can help a family in Haiti breathe easier, cook faster, and increase their income by saving on fuel costs. They can send their kids to school, start a business, and eat more nutritious foods. You can learn more about this amazing impact at The Adventure Project. They're partnering with people on the ground to create jobs, maintain dignity, and improve livelihoods – all through a little stove.

2 years. 2 friends. 2 stoves. Lots of positive impact. Sponsor a stove and change some lives. And pass it on – inspire two people to remember Haiti today.

CLICK HERE to be one of my 2! Then spread the word!

We are plotting and planning

2011-12-27T08:19:00.004-06:00

we've had an AMAZING break so far. christmas was fabulous in storm lake. always so fun to spend time with the burbacks. every single time i am beyond thankful that i not only LOVE my in-laws, but i LIKE them. we laugh hard. we have a blast.
i barely got my camera out at all. i'll download pics a little later. i was just happy to enjoy our time together.
then my brother and his family arrive later this week. we will celebrate christmas and new years together over the weekend. SO looking forward to that as well!
paul had monday off from work. we did NOTHING. had a fire going. drank a bottle of wine and dreamed about 2012. we have been planning a vacation as soon as school gets out. and we got that all finalized yesterday! we are heading to the upper peninsula in michigan to kayak/bike/hike for a week!! and we are pumped!! we will be renting this house for the week...

it has been so fun to plan! i LOVE planning trips. seriously. i think i missed my calling as a travel agent. in the midst of all this planning, we realized we would have to bring along our kayaks and our bikes. we had purchased the kids an inflatable kayak for christmas, but still have 2 kayaks that we need to transport outside of the car. we found a kayak rack for the top of our car. we were kind of giggling about how we would look driving down the interstate with kayaks on top our car. and then we remembered we needed to purchase a bike rack for the back of the car. we hit up amazon and started looking. we found one for a very reasonable price and then died laughing when we looked at the photo....

for real. it's going to be hilarious. 2 kayaks on top and 5 bikes on back. a family of 5 PLUS a golden doodle inside. oh my word. one day i will miss this. i know i will. but for today, it was just hysterical. feeling so so blessed. truly. my cup is overflowing. and i cannot wait to take pictures of our own gear gracing the outside of our van this summer. it will be a blast.
(oh...and did i mention while we are in michigan, the dirks family will be just down the road from us? can you imagine THEIR car with a family of 7?? so fun! can't WAIT for this trip!)

Lani

2011-12-18T23:49:00.002-06:00

She had a solo at our Christmas program at church today.
So sweet.
Brigg, Lani and Ayla were all in a little play as well.
And after that we rushed to a local nursing home so Lani and Brigg could play piano in a Christmas recital.
Here's a video of Lani singing...

This brought me to tears...

2011-12-15T22:33:00.001-06:00

Read the article HERE
I love what Christmas does to the human spirit.
Love.

Really?

2011-12-08T23:00:00.002-06:00

have i really be absent that long? wow. that's forever.
i feel like i start every blog post out with a big "we have been BUSY".
but it's true. every time i say it, it is true.
and i am thankful.
because we have several kids who love to GO.
and a dog that loves to eat. and run. and chew tissues.
and i have a job that i LOVE.
and my husband has 2 jobs that he doesn't hate, too. :)
all really happy, good stuff.
so i am thankful for it all. bring it.

since i haven't updated in a while, i think i'll just give a quick run down.
paul is doing great. he is still working 2 jobs. mpw and home inspections. his home inspection business continues to grow. i have a love/hate relationship with this business. i love it because HE loves it. and he is GOOD at it. and it brings in a nice little extra income for us. but i hate it because it's all done outside of regular business hours. so i get a little up tight when he is gone ALL DAY LONG and then working on his computer all night long finishing up a report. we are working on getting some new software that might eliminate some of that extra time in the late night hours. but they call it moonlighting for a reason.

i am also doing great. busy busy at school. still so thankful that i got a job in the 5th grade. i don't think i could possibly do those younger grades. we had to show the puberty video the other day. that was great fun. something i didn't really think about when taking this position! good times indeed. we strategically planned it the last hour of the day on the day before thanksgiving break. we are smart. worked like a charm. haven't heard them speak a word about it since their return.
i love my students and my co-workers and my parents. i can't imagine walking away from this job. although i have days where i daydream of staying home with the kids again. then i remember that 2 of them are in school all day and ayla is a holy terror. :)
we are going to mexico in march!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
leah is getting married. i only have 2 personal days a year. i am taking them both for this trip. it will be a QUICK trip. leaving on an EARLY flight on a thursday and returning on an afternoon flight on that sunday. i wish it could be longer. but it will be so awesome to be in that beautiful place and watch leah and jeff tie the knot. SO FUN!! SO HAPPY for them! can't wait!!!!!

brigg is still taking piano lessons and playing basketball right now. oh...and his music teacher taught him how to play the recorder with his nose. true talent. :) she also taught him how to wash the recorder in the dishwasher. ha!
he is growing like crazy. when he stands in front of me i can rest my chin on the top of his head. wow. i'm dreading the day when he no longer wants to give me a kiss and hug goodbye in the morning and before bed. love him so much.

lani is doing horseback riding lessons and piano lessons. she loves them both. she is great at them both. i tear up every time i see her on that horse. for real. she is so happy in those moments. i'm so grateful she has found something she loves. as any mother would agree, i'm sure, it's so amazing to see your child happy and thriving.
she is doing great in school and her reading is finally taking off. she loves to read. and i honestly was very concerned about her reading for a long time. then suddenly it just clicked. so fun to witness.

ayla. oh ayla. this child is refining us every.single.day. by the time she leaves our home we will be THE most patient people on the planet. honestly. there will no others in existence who will have a greater amount of patience than we do. we will have had years and years and years of practice with her. :) she is hot or cold. and it can change with NO notice whatsoever. she dropped out of preschool. it was just too many changes all at once. and now she's fine. she is doing great at daycare. she never complains about going. but she is always ready for the weekend. she knows what it means when i tuck her in bed on thursday night and tell her "tomorrow is FRIDAY!" she loves the weekend and her time with all of us. oh...and she is so funny in the morning. INSISTS on kissing and hugging brigg and lani goodbye. it drives them crazy. but she won't let them out the door without it. cute.

willow is huge. and shaved. but honestly, that dog is getting SO GOOD. she's getting calmer by the day. but she still loves to find tissues and chew on them. i do not understand that. i think if you are not big dog people, golden doodles are the dog for you. we haven't done much in the way of training, but she is really pretty well-behaved for a dog of 1.5 years!

we are heading to storm lake for the holidays. i am really looking forward to our break together. one of the HUGE perks of teaching. i get all that time off with the kids over the holidays. makes me happy!! my christmas shopping is done for the most part. couple little things to pick up, but really not too much. thank you trusty online shopping. i love you.

and it's still not too late to pick up a stove for christmas. they have been FLYING off the shelves the past couple of days! so fun!

i'm off to play with brigg's christmas gift....a kindle. i've wanted one for years, but somehow my 10 year old is getting one before me. how does that happen??
happy weekend to all....

cyber monday...

2011-11-28T19:10:00.003-06:00

there are SO many great deals out there today!
and i'm not gonna lie...i may have purchased several items from my christmas list today.
BUT.
the best purchase i've made so far, you ask?
STOVES!
you can give them in someone's name and the adventure project will send them an e-card HERE.
check it out.
if you're looking for a gift idea for me, i'd LOVE a stove or two purchased in my name!! :)
for real.
consider heading on this journey with the adventure project.

Stoves!

2011-11-21T18:34:00.002-06:00

Remember Jody?
You know...that friend of mine from a while back? :)
I may have mentioned her a time or 2 on this blog.
And guess what...she's still a part of my life. And she's been busting her butt this past year or so getting The Adventure Project up and running.
Their impact has been amazing.
Their philosophy is new and different and is filled with dignity and and the belief that creating change from the inside out by providing sustainable solutions is possible.
It's awesome.
Watch this...

Give a Stove this Holiday - The Adventure Project Campaign on Vimeo from The Adventure Project on Vimeo.

I love this for may reasons but one of the main ones is that for the first time ever Jody is speaking at a normal pace and her arms are not flailing. She must REALLY REALLY believe in what's she's doing because that took some serious self-control on her part. :)
(love you, jody!)

So I will be buying stoves for Christmas. Because the impact is huge.
And sustainable. And good for the earth. And amazing for communities that are working to pull themselves up out of poverty.
I hope you join me.
GO.
Check it out!

still adjusting

2011-11-17T09:19:00.002-06:00

ugh.
seriously, will we ever get this figured out?
i stayed at home for the better part of 10 years.
i did everything home-wise.
because that was my job.
bills, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, pet care, running errands and on and on.
so we knew when i went back to work full-time that it was going to be an adjustment to say the least.
we knew we were going to have to make some shifts in responsibilities.
and honestly, we've transitioned quite well.
but once in a while, things just get overwhelming.
and i freak.
like this morning.
last night brigg found a tick on willow.
this morning i said to paul "what was the date you took willow to the vet? we probably are about at one month and need to give her her next pill for fleas, ticks, heartworm, etc."
he stared at me blankly.
"what pill? i didn't give her a pill that day."
WHAT?!?
(enter my freaking out because our neighbors dog died of lyme disease last year).
so we bicker back and forth as i'm throwing dishes in the dishwasher and FORGETTING to switch over the wet clothes into the dryer. barking at him from the kitchen as he's rushing lani along to finish drying her hair and get the big kids out the door.
apparently i never told him about the pill.
because i just DID IT.
it was never written down.
i don't have a list.
i did things for TEN YEARS.
it was just something i did.
so now when i forget i just assume someone else will pick up my slack.
without ever telling them.
(or him).
and it's frustrating! for both of us!
so paul rushes out the door with me shouting out reminders as he's in the doorway and i rush out the front door to get ayla to daycare 10 min late.
after i drop her off, paul and i meet again on our cell phones.
we go over the plan for the day.
for the weekend.
what am i forgetting?
he says "you need to write it all down. everything you do."
oh my.
I DON'T HAVE TIME!
but this weekend that is the plan.
write it all down. because geez, this stuff needs to get done!
in my panic i had visions of a dead dog and sobbing children and late bills and paul's business failing and us living in a van down by the river.
you know how one little thing in your brain can evolve into the end of the world? :)
yeah. that's me.
i'm trying. i don't want to fail at any of my jobs.
and we are getting there.
but we are obviously still going through an adjustment period.
(paul called the vet and he calmed my worries. we think willow might live. whew.)

The American Girl Store

2011-11-14T19:31:00.001-06:00

ok.
my american girl place post! :)
so we went to the store after a long night before and a train ride to chicago and we had already walked all over the city with no stroller so ayla was tired.
and this place was insane.
totally crazy busy.

it was loud and overstimulating for me.
but we had been planning this and we also had reservations for "tea" at 4:00.
so we ventured in and someone must have seen the overwhelmed look on our faces.
she was like a personal shopper.
for real.
she just walked around with us and helped us find what we were looking for.
she was nice.
but paul and i kept looking at eachother and kind of giggling.

because really, i don't think paul and i are American Girl people.
we know so many people who love going here.
so i really hate to say anything negative.
BUT we did not love it.
although we DO love ayla.
and she had been dreaming of an american girl doll for a long time.

4:00 came and we went to "tea".
a loud bell rang and everyone that was sitting outside got to go in and be seated.
they had highchairs for the little girls' dolls.
and little tea cups and plates for the dolls.

and finger food.
little sandwiches and some mini scones and some fruit.
paul had decided he didn't want to eat any of the food, but he still had to pay a $10 "sitting fee".
appparently to just BE in the room.
oh my.
did i mention we are not american girl people?
also...did i mention that we could not stop looking at eachother wide-eyed and laughing?
:)
ok good.

so the moment we gave ayla her doll made it all worth it.
she was so cute.
and so happy.
and i think paul's 2 hours of torture turned into a smile. :)
i'm so glad we went.
i'm so glad she loves her doll.
but i'm pretty sure we'll never go again.
whew.
i LOVE chicago.
but i'm thinking we'll stay away from this store in the future.
we'll stick with checking out marilyn's panties. :)
and i won't give a "formal" review.
because honestly, i know LOTS of people who love going here. I hadn't heard one person that shared my distaste, so take what i say with a grain of salt. you should check it out yourself.
you may be pleasantly surprised.
happy birthday ayla. we really really love you.

One of my favorites...

2011-11-14T18:58:00.001-06:00

Tonight we finished harvesting the garden.
Brussel sprouts.
One of our favorites.

This has been so fun!
The kids LOVE picking our produce out of the garden!

And the best part?
The kids ate brussel sprouts tonight.
All 3 of them.
They would NEVER eat them if they hadn't picked them.

So awesome!
And really...I had NO IDEA this was how brussel sprouts grew!
Crazy!!

Can't wait for next year's garden.
We will tweak things and it will be even better!

Our Storm...

2011-11-09T00:05:00.000-06:00

Oh Ayla...

How can you possibly be FOUR YEARS OLD today?
How is it that it feels like you are only a baby but yet you have been a part of our lives forever?

Our little unexpected gift.
The one who turned our world upside down even before you showed your face.
We had no idea what was coming.
And then on November 9, 2007, you arrived.
And our lives have never been the same.

Over the past 4 years you have REtaught us how to be parents.
You are passionate and intense.
You are stubborn and curious.
You bring spunk to our household.
You are UH-dorable.
Everywhere we go, people tell you that.
But I love it best when they say "she is so CUTE!" and you say "AND smart."
with attitude.
It's true. Brains, beauty and spunk.
You love deeply.
You scream loudly.
You laugh genuinely.
You are ONE OF A KIND.

As you turn four today, I pray that you learn to channel your intensity for good. That you use your confidence and energy to spread love and joy.
I pray your curiosity grows and motivates you to learn more. To love deeper and give freely.

We love you, Ayla Lyn.
We cannot imagine our lives without you in them.
You have completed our family.
We cannot wait to see what God has in store for you.
Happy birthday Ayla bean.
With all our love, Happy Birthday.

On the way...

2011-11-08T21:34:00.001-06:00

done

2011-11-06T11:38:00.001-06:00

As u Can imagine...ayla is tired. Long weekend.
Good exciting funny moments mixed with stubborn crabby tired moments.
This is ayla. In muscatine or in Chicago.
She is no different.
She is in love with her American girl doll.
She waned to go to the dolls where u pick one that looks like you.
She picked the black doll with long black hair.
She insisted.
So cute.
We love her so so much.
She wears us out.
And now Paul and i are ready for a vacation. :)
More to come when I'm not on my phone jammed in a train....

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almost there!

2011-11-05T10:22:00.001-05:00

We are so excited!

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2 of the 2989 reasons...

2011-11-01T23:15:00.001-05:00

we love living out here.
Sepp...

and Leona...

they live directly across the street.
they are amazing.
they have 8 grandsons and NO granddaughters.
they say they don't need any...they have ayla and lani.
it's a perfect relationship.
we adore them.

jennie took pics

2011-10-28T10:53:00.001-05:00

i did not.
to see some from lani's night last night.
go to her blog HERE.
they are so cute.
so lani.

fun stuff!

2011-10-28T10:06:00.002-05:00

last night was so fun!
i had 12 conferences. i lost my voice.
but then paul picked me up with all the kids (+1) in tow and we headed to incredible pizza to celebrate lani.
it was a great time.
by the time we got home the kids were beat and they went to bed pretty quickly.
then paul and i watched the MOST amazing cardinals game.
there may have been texting and facebooking and screaming and jumping going on during the whole thing.
not to mention laughing and jumping into paul's arms while he swung me around in circles when it was finally over.
at one point i tried to wake up brigg but he was way too tired. i was so disappointed.(i am not the best mom ever, but fun!)
it was a great time.

and TODAY is going to be great, too!
no school.
lisa and i planned to meet with lani and macy to celebrate their birthdays together.
you may remember the story of lani and macy. if not, you can read about it HERE.
what a special time in our lives.
what a special relationship they have.
so thankful we get this day together just the 4 of us. it's going to be awesome.

so i am off this morning. lots to do before we head out.
my cup runneth over....

8 is great.

2011-10-27T00:12:00.000-05:00

At least that holds true for Lani.
Today she turns 8.
And I tell you what...this child is beyond great.
What a blessing she is to us.
Patient. Kind. Generous. Compassionate. Humble. Not confident. Compliant. Shy. Sweet.
So.
Not.
ME.
Sometimes I wonder how she came from my womb. :)
(fyi...i ordered the above photo in an 8x12 canvas for her birthday. she loves bridgette. can't wait to give this to her!)

But I'm SO thankful she did.
Eight years ago God gave me a girl.
I didn't ask for one.
Honestly.
I thought I'd end up with all boys.
The night I went into labor I asked for the "blue room" because I was sure boy number 2 was about to arrive.
And then our little Nalani showed up.
And I turned to Paul with tears in my eyes and literally said, "I didn't know I wanted a girl!"
I remember it like it was yesterday.
And honestly, I remember nearly every second of Lani's first few months of life like they were yesterday.
It was a rough transition for us. Add in 6 surgeries in 12 months and you had one stressed out momma.
But man, Lani was and EASY baby.
An EASY toddler.
And now and EASY child.
Our calm before the storm, some might say. :)
(more on our storm on HER birthday...)
Last night as I sat there thinking about Nalani in all her sweetness, I was overcome with emotion.
Gosh, God knew what we needed.
And our sweet little baby turned out to be a perfect mix of sweet and strong.
Compliant and determined.
Quiet and witty.
Compassionate and brave.
She is incredible.
And I love her with all that I am.
As she turns 8, I pray that her confidence grows and she fully recognizes her God-given gifts.
I pray that she continues to be sure in who she is and what she believes. That her faith grows and her worries disappear. That as she matures, she learns to hand over those fears to the one who created her and loves her even more than I do.
Thank you God for Nalani Alma. For her sweet, generous, compassionate, funny heart. Thank you for picking us to be her parents. Thank you for hearing my prayers for all boys and saying "Nope." Our lives are so much better because of Lani Lou.
Happy birthday Lou Bug. We love you so so much....

This week

2011-10-24T16:00:00.002-05:00

Conferences.
Lani's birthday.
on top of...
piano lessons, basketball practice, and a home inspection.
but no school on friday.
and honestly, i'm super nervous about conferences.
ugh.

500 women

2011-10-17T22:52:00.003-05:00

i HAVE to share this with you!
The Adventure Project is at it again. Upping the stakes. Still working towards the goal of hiring 500 women.
As of tonight there are 147 covered.
We are looking for people to step up and sponsor the rest this month.
There are only 2 weeks left.
I believe we can do it!
$162.
$120 for health care training classes and $42 for a uniform and tote.
I am pumped!
I cannot wait to receive our photo next year of the woman who was hired because of our one time donation.
You, too, can help.
Go HERE to check it out!

god must have known...

2011-10-17T22:30:00.002-05:00

i was going to have a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day today.
that is why this weekend was so awesome.
i needed it to get me through today.
i'm exhausted.
and as a friend said "the highs are really high and the lows are really low". (or something like that!)
and that is truth.
hoping tomorrow is really high.
because i can't take another one like today that soon.
night blog world....

saturday

2011-10-16T21:31:00.004-05:00

in a nutshell...

perfect pic capturing how i felt most of the day.
for more images, check out jennie's blog.
fun fun stuff.
not really ready for the weekend to end...but what's new??!!

Really amazing weekend...

2011-10-16T13:42:00.002-05:00

spent tailgating in iowa city with so many people i love.
it was perfect.
not to mention luke and i were baggo champions.
there may or may not have been some very very bad sportsmanship from the winners.
forgive us. :)
neighborhood gathered in our yard after church this morning and helped cut down a tree.
(have i mentioned i LOVE our new church? yeah...i do. just keeps getting better.)
not sure how we managed for find the absolute perfect neighborhood, but we did.
grateful.
so refreshed today.
i almost feel ready for another work week.
almost.

"so, how's it going?"

2011-10-14T15:23:00.004-05:00

"We must see that every child has equal opportunity, not to become equal, but to become different--to realize the unique potential he or she possesses." (john fischer)

i came across a book the other day as i was cleaning out a closet. (i'll be throwing in some quotes throughout this post that i love from it).
i got it when i graduated from UNI with my teaching degree.
at the time it was just a cute little book to add to my collection.
i don't think i even opened it.
i assume if i had started teaching right out of college, it would have sat on my shelf and collected dust.
instead, it got packed away in one of my tubs labeled "TEACHING STUFF".
there was a time when i thought i just might not ever open those tubs.
i thought my teaching career would never happen.
but here we are, 10 years later, and i was wrong.
thank goodness!
i pulled this little book out last night and started reading.
let me tell you...those words of wisdom and quotes mean so much more now than they would have 10 years ago.
after a rough week and days of feeling like a failure, they hit home.

"Whenever a pupil has spoken disrespectfully to a teacher and the teacher can say with truth, 'Do I not always speak politely to you?' the case is won without any more argument." (fanny jackson coppin)

"In discipline, whatever generates hate must be avoided. Whatever creates self-esteem is to be fostered." (Haim Ginott)

"Good discipline is a series of little victories in which a teacher, through small decencies , reaches a child's heart." (Haim Ginott)

you want the truth here?
this is HARD.
it is really hard.
i love deeply. i feel deeply. i am emotional. i am relational.
i am not in this for the paycheck.
i cry when i read "Where the Red Fern Grows".
i choke back sobs when a student who struggles terribly in math gets a 100% on a quiz and quickly offers to help another student who is struggling.
i start chanting "they are getting it! they are getting it!" over and over when i am checking papers at home and they are all scoring well.
i have dreams about them.
i worry about them over the weekend.

but honestly, about every sunday night i still am not ready for monday morning to come.
it's just a tension.
mommy guilt.
loving 23 kids deeply.
wanting to be able to volunteer in my own kids' schools.
wanting to play a role in the future of 23 others.
it's hard.

"The world is all gates, all opportunities, strings of tension waiting to be struck." (gosh i love ralph waldo emerson)

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through the experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved." (and helen keller was an unbelievable soul!)

so in all honestly...it's going well.
a friend told me the other day that her sister asked how i was liking it.
she said, "i think she loves it. but it's not easy."
she knows.
i tell her. :)
and that's the truth.
i knew it wouldn't be easy. i knew there would be good and bad days.
but i didn't realize how deep i would feel those successes and failures.
both mine and my students.
it's like becoming a parent for the first time.
people tell you that you have no idea how much you will love your child.
and you know it's true, but they are right...you have.no.idea.
and then it happens.
and your eyes are opened to a whole new world.
that is teaching for me.
it runs deep. and strong.
i love it.
but man...it's hard.

and i made it through another week.
hello friday.
i.
love.
you.
:)

"I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker." (more helen keller)

"We teach who we are." (John Gardener) ...and this my friends, could be scary. not easy. i feel such a deep responsibility right in this spot. deep.

12 year later...

2011-10-08T10:44:00.001-05:00

We will celebrate 12 years of marriage tomorrow.
Doesn't seem possible.
And what I didn't expect 12 years ago was that our relationship would be this much better today.
Didn't think it was possible.
So we left a screaming ayla (hello mommy guilt), and a dog chasing after our car this morning to sneak away for 24 hours.
We are excited.
And so thankful for our many blessings.
Happy anniversary Paul.
Love you with all my heart.

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Settling in...

2011-10-05T23:20:00.004-05:00

i feel like i am settling in.
not just at home with the new schedule.
but also with my students. and my co-workers. and the parents.
things seem to be starting to click.
i love it.
it's getting to the point where my students are starting to "get" me.
i'm figuring out what will work with some of the more challenging students.
i emailed my principal tonight and said
"i think i'm making progress. but geez...this is hard work! :)
(oh...and i love it.)"
and it IS.
really hard.
but i am totally in love with figuring them out.
who knew i'd love that part?
when i am working one-on-one with a student talking through a conflict and i can see them shut down, i find such satisfaction in knowing how to pull them out of it.
i think it's a sign that our relationships are growing and getting stronger.
i love "The Leader in Me" program our district is using. it works. i swear it does.
i love that i can ask them if the language they used was proactive or reactive and they know the answer. i love that i can say, "You have the freedom to choose. But what happens if you choose not to pause and think about how you are going to respond and you end up responding REactively instead?"
and they can give me an answer.
and they are ready to come up with consequences for their actions.
and they know i am hearing them and not REacting myself.
i love it all.
i LOVE it when they "get" a concept after days of not fully understanding.
i love it when they all pass a test or get homework turned in.
i love working with my push-in teachers to come up with new ideas that allow the kids to stay in my classroom during math.
i love differentiating.
it makes me beyond happy to be teaching a lesson while my ELP students are working diligently on the ALEKS program on the computers in my room and my special ed teacher is working with students at a table in the back to help them with the concept and kids are coming up and working on the smart board and explaining to their peers how they came up with an answer.
seriously amazing moments mixed in with crazy, frustrating, disappointing moments as well.
but the scale is starting to tip towards many more positive, productive, giddy moments.
oh...and i love that my students bring me the MOVES LIKE JAGGER cd to borrow. :)
seriously.
that's awesome.
wow...i think i'm hitting my sweet spot.
and did i mention i love it?

Stay hungry...Stay foolish

2011-10-05T21:27:00.001-05:00

Wanted this here for future reference.
I will watch it again.
And again.
Amazing man. Amazing life.
Stay hungry...Stay foolish.

Monday

2011-10-03T15:11:00.003-05:00

love playing with my mac book. :)
looks like i'll be grading papers tonight.
what's new?
paul has an inspection.
it's GORGEOUS out.
i'm sure the kids will be playing.
ayla has started saying random words. what i ask what she said, she'll say it in normal language and then say. MOM...that was in SPANish.
not sure where she's learning this spanish. but her teacher STINKS.
some fun stuff coming up...
this weekend paul and i are sneaking away for 24 hours.
CANNOT WAIT.
we need it.
12 years to celebrate!!
ayla turns 4 in november. she's the last of our children that we haven't gotten away with one-on-one. so we have planned a big trip for her! she knows about it and asks about it every.single.day.
we got train tickets to chicago for the 3 of us.
one night in a hotel and plans to hit the american girl store.
i'm so happy that she's so pumped about it.
i was afraid she was still a little young, but i was wrong.
every night at bedtime i lay down with her and she touches my cheek and says, "Mom, let's talk about what the train ride is going to be like!"
so fun.
can't wait!
and thank goodness for aunt jennie!!! what would we do without her?!?
oh...and oct 15th we are hitting our once-a-year hawkeye football game with all the burback siblings and this year jennie and sean, too.
good times, no doubt!
lots of fun stuff coming up.
and can the weather just stay this temperature forever??

update

2011-10-02T08:39:00.004-05:00

we are here! we are alive! i am posting from my mac book, so i don't have many photos on here. but i downloaded a couple for your viewing pleasure. :)
wow...busy busy busy.
made it through midterms. barely.
and things are really starting to settle at school. i am getting the hang of things. our schedule flows nicely. i still love the kids. and i have a feeling most of them love me, too. :)
we are going through an unexpected bathroom gut right now.
frustrating, but necessary.
so paul and my bathroom is tore up. all the way down to the studs.
i've been scouring the internet for ideas and have fallen in love with idea of using a piece of furniture as a vanity. so we got on craigslist and saw this listing that said "pickers welcome...everything must go".
we need to start a reality show called family pickers, i think.
we were successful in finding our vanity.
in a vacant house. with the windows broke out and glass all over the floor. no electricity. looked at it with a flashlight. in a small small small town (pop 250) in north tama county.
it was an adventure and this is what we came home with...

pretty awesome, right? we are going to refinish it. and then add 2 vessel sinks to the top.
seriously glad i have a handy husband.
and this piece of furniture is SOLID. it was $150. way cheaper than a vanity from menards. :)
it's making me happy.

but not as happy as these people make me...

so here's the update on US. (photo taken by my sister at tater's 5th birthday party last night. so fun!!)
paul...working working working. SICK. stayed home with lani on friday. both were sick. he has really been awesome during this transition. our lives have completely changed. totally different life. he has just gone with the flow. never once complaining about my crazed moments of overwhelmedness (yes...i made that word up). supportive and amazing. and next week we will celebrate 12 years together. wow. love him so so so much more and so so so much better than i did 12 years ago. never thought that was possible. still love to laugh with him, but also love to garden with him and raise kids with him and drive 2 hours one way in a pick-up with 3 kids and dig through old abandoned houses looking for the perfect piece of furniture to repurpose.
really love that.

brigg...he's having a great year at school. really growing up. he loves his teacher. he's making some new friends. still loves his momma though. :) still social as ever. ran the mile the other day and beat his personal best which made him happy, but really wanted to get below 7:00. he got 7:07. he was discouraged. :) but then came up with a plan to do it in the spring. he is MOTIVATED and DRIVEN. when we were in colorado he decided he needed to be healthier and gave up soda. hasn't had a sip since august 6th. which is funny and pretty amazing. he would ask for a soda on any "special occasion". he's committed. and i love him with all my heart.

lani...still riding horses. playing piano. being a sweetie. doing great in school. loves her teacher. her reading is really taking off. she has really connected with another little girl here in our neighborhood. it's been fun to watch that relationship develop. she takes a while to warm up. but now she wants to be with her all the time. lani turns 8 this month. seems impossible. she has this quiet sense of humor that i ADORE. she is who she is. she doesn't change for anybody. i love that about her.

ayla...oh ayla. she's had the most change this year. she loves her daycare provider. an answer to prayer. she started preschool a couple weeks after daycare. she loved it for one day. since then she had been crying whenever we talk about it or when she gets dropped off. so as of friday, ayla is a preschool drop-out. :) i hope this doesn't become a trend in her life. ha! she has another year of preschool next year, so it's not a big deal. i think it was just too much change all at once.

me...i'm doing well! i want a house cleaner. really. i knew that once i dipped my toe in the waters of the working world again, i would be ready to dive in full force. i was right. i have thoughts daily of going to conferences and back to school for my masters. it's a bit of a problem. but i AM going to a conference in october and one again in november. i LOVE this stuff. love it.
we are still loving our location and our house. it's gorgeous out here. we feel so thankful. each and every day. so so thankful.

so that's it for now. we have found a new church. and it starts in 1 hour and 10 minutes. i need to shower. oh...and my goodness...we LOVE this church. YAY!!! the pastor is incredible. his messages have really spoken to us. we didn't think it would be possible to feel good walking into a church again. but we were so wrong. so off we go. have a great week. i'll try to check back again soon.

some fun stuff!

2011-09-15T21:37:00.002-05:00

another week is coming to an end.
it has gone SO fast.
it's been a fairly emotional week for me.
lots going on.
but there are some fun things happening!
first of all, i have learned that when my students all finally grasp a concept, it is beyond exciting for me.
i graded a quiz last night and they all did awesome.
i was smiling from ear to ear.
i wanted to walk in a squeeeeeze them all today!
i couldn't wait to hand them out.
and they did not disappoint.
lots of fist-pumping and high-fiving.
it was exciting.
i love it.
love it.

the other day we were doing our silent reading time.
i quick snapped a picture of three of the kids in my book nook.
it look exactly the way i intended it to.
again...love it.
i had enya playing in the background and it was so peaceful.
it's the little things.

and today!
first of all, i need to share BIG news for Washington School.
today there was an official announcement made that Washington was named a blue ribbon school.
it's a gigantic honor.
and makes me even more proud to be a part of this team.
it's been a long time coming and so much hard work has gone into it.
those teachers/administrators/support staff truly deserve it.
i believe that from the bottom of my heart.

and finally, this is so fun.
did you know that i work with some old classmates?
(no emphasis on OLD...cuz we are totally young.)
but it's so great!
one of them is my mentor.
we meet once a week.
she will be my mentor for two years!
that is so exciting to me!
and how cool that i have known her for like 20 years! :)
(yes...i just said "cool". maybe i AM old!)
to today 2 of my old classmates and now current co-workers came into my room to teach a smart board lesson.
i have never used one.
i want to use one.
linda and sonia are pros at using one.
so it just made sense!
and look...

the kids were completely enthralled.
i love it!
i was snapping photos.
and just felt giddy!
i LOVE this technology!
can't wait to learn more about it.
it just changes the whole face of education.
man...i am beyond excited to be jumping into the water during this time.
i cannot wait to see the kinds of things i will have access to in the future.
but first i need to figure out this smart board.
because it is seriously smarter than me.

that's all i got for today.
heading to bed.
anxious for friday but thankful for today.
just the way it should be.
happy weekend!!

dear family and friends...

2011-09-14T21:26:00.001-05:00

don't give up on me!
i heard a rumor that this teaching thing gets a little easier down the road.
so i'm hopeful that i will be back soon.
i'm begging you...please don't give up on me!
i know i suck right now, but i will be better soon.
i promise.
thanks.
miss and love you,
cassie

breathing....

2011-09-07T16:38:00.002-05:00

i think my WHOLE nose is above water now...and not just my 2 nostrils.
it's a slow process....and quite the learning curve.
lots of buzz words i'm learning.
and acronyms.
and test names.
i'm working on figuring out what are MUSTS and what are CHOICES.
i did an activity today that i created on my own. it wasn't from the text book.
sounds so silly and like such a small thing. but it's a big deal.
i am just trying to learn what is allowed.
i do NOT want to short these kids on a good education. on the skills needed to pass required tests.
i don't want to send them to middle school without the proper tools to survive.
i'm not fulling trusting my own abilities yet and for some reason i think McGraw Hill is way smarter than me. :) so i've been depending on him (or her...i'm not sure WHO McGraw Hill is!) to get me through my lessons. which in turn makes my classroom look a little different than i want it to look in say a month.
but my confidence in myself is growing bit by bit.
and i'm breathing a teeny tiny bit easier.
it's just such a gigantic responsibility and i take it very seriously.
parents are counting on me.
kids are counting on me.
yikes.
sometimes it feels like too much pressure.
but i'm still loving it. and slowing figuring it all out.
and gosh...i love these kids more every day.
they are awesome. i think it's so great that i get this amazing class as my first classroom ever. i'll remember them always and i hope they feel the same.

now that i have caught a breath...i better go tackle the laundry.
wowser.
not pretty.
happy wednesday!!

{not really} apple picking 2011

2011-09-05T20:57:00.001-05:00

our crew this year...

we had a small group this year.
it's fun either way.
2 years ago we had nearly everyone on both sides there.
this year just the 10 of us...plus willow.
it's fun no.matter.what.

but this year, we had a problem.
early apple picking trip + really dry summer = no picking apples on our annual apple picking trip.
i'm not even kidding.
the apples weren't ready.
so our favorite orchard wasn't open.
and won't be open until the 10th.
so no apples.
bummer.
but we knew it before we got on the road on friday and we decided the 3 day weekend still made the trip worth it.
we have some local apple orchards that we can hit in a few weeks.
and it really was nice to just hang out all weekend at the amazing house we have gotten to use the past 3 years.
hot tub.
4 wheelers.
huge fire pit.
giant windows in a beautiful setting.
a creek.
2 kayaks.
serious fun.

we laughed until our faces hurt.
we stayed up LATE and sat in the hot tub for hours.
we ate and ate and ate.
we drank baileys in our coffee in the morning. :)
a vaction indeed.

and on the way out of town we stopped at an orchard (that WASNT pick-your-own) and bought apple cider and cheese curds.
more photos to come.
another amazing weekend.
kind of makes reality stink though. :)

back at it tomorrow.
ayla starts preschool in the morning.
she is excited.
i am teary.
kids start back to piano lessons tomorrow afternoon.
we are getting into our groove, i think.
and our reality really is pretty awesome, too.
always an adventure...

lots-o-thoughts

2011-08-30T21:18:00.004-05:00

i am slammed.
meeting after meeting after training after training after meeting.
and i don't think that ever goes away. :)
ever.
it's all good stuff.
but my brain is on OVERLOAD to say the least.
so let's just clear that up before i start typing completely unrelated thoughts into one blog post.
ok.
so i'm fried.
got it.
________________________________

the other day i sent lisa a message that said i am trying to be the BEST mom.
the BEST teacher.
the BEST wife.
the BEST friend.
the BEST sister/daughter/aunt/neighbor/co-worker/house cleaner...oh wait...NOT that one. :)
and really, in the end i am failing at all of them.
so i'm finding that there really is something to the saying "Something's gotta give".
it does.
i have to focus.
so last week it was 2.
teacher and mom. (paul was out of town...wife got put on back burner.)
which basically meant i was terrible at all other things.
and let's be honest...i certainly wasn't THE BEST at the 2 i put as my priority.
but they were my focus.
and i made it through the week alive.
barely.

i talked to a friend one night for 2 1/2 hours after the kids went to bed.
she informed me that by the looks of my FB page and my blog, i looked like i had it "all together."
pretty sure i laughed out loud at that one.
let's clear this up.
I.DO.NOT.HAVE.IT.ALL.TOGETHER.
laughable, i tell ya!
i compare how i feel to be completely submerged in water with just my two nostrils above the surface.
barely staying a float.
barely breathing.
but trying to keep it all together for my students and my kids.
so god help you if you are my dear friend and 'get' to talk to me for 2 1/2 hours one night after my kids are in bed. HA!
________________________________

moving on.
i LOVE the song "Moves Like Jagger".
for real.
love.it.
can help but dance to it.
it's in my head *all the time*.
hundred of times a day.
and it makes me smile.
and kind of dance when i walk.

________________________________

speaking of walking.
i have a problem.
i do believe it is called plantar fasciitis.
fun.
this morning i wanted to cut my foot off and just get it over with.
but by mid-morning it was much better.
kinda sounds like i'll feel the same way tomorrow morning.
can't wait.
_________________________________

the house was out of control.
paul got home on friday evening.
we were all DONE.
the kids were beyond tired after their first week of school.
*I* was beyond tired after my first week of school.
and ayla had the mother of all meltdowns.
which in turn lead to the MOTHER of the mother of all meltdowns from me.
good times.
i think paul was scared.
wondering what in the world happened while he was gone!
good news is that i alluded to it on FB on friday and today is tuesday. i friend called and asked about it and i couldn't even remember what in the world she was talking about.
what meltdown?
there was a meltdown?
OH YEAH....that's right....there WAS that one night. with the 2 biggest meltdowns ever recorded in the world.
but we're over that.
i totally forgot.
see?? it's all good!
__________________________________

moving on.
we had no order to our lives for like a month.
laundry was piling up.
we were eating eggs every single night.
i couldn't take it....coming home and not having a plan.
so sunday night i came up with our menu for the month.
nothing fancy.
but a plan.
got groceries for the week.
and we are eating normal again this week.
whew.
it's been nice.
we are having THIS tomorrow.
because damn it...i need some comfort food.
:)
_______________________________

and guess what.
we have our annual APPLE PICKING trip this weekend.
and it's a 3 day weekend!!
yee-haw!!!
so excited.
that's an understatement.
a long weekend in wisconsin.
happy dance is in my future!

_______________________________

ayla is doing awesome at daycare.
there has not been a tear.
not one.
she gives me a hug and kiss and she's off.
it's made that part of my life much much easier.
i drop her off around 7:30 am and paul picks her up around 3:30.
he gets home with her just as the kids get off the bus and i'm home about 30 minutes later.
by the time i get home the kids have their reading done and if they have homework that is finished.
so we have several hours at night just to BE.
and that is what we are doing.
eating supper.
talking.
and then going to bed.
once they are in bed, i pull out my work.
has anyone ever told you teaching is not a 40-hr/week job?
i'm here to tell you it is NOT.
especially as a first year teacher.
_____________________________________

i love my class.
LOVE them.
deep love that is so unexpected.
my FB status the other day read...

"Unexpected surprise #1 during my 1st year of teaching: I love my students. All of them. A deep "i-will-fight-for-you-no-matter-what" kind of love. Didn't expect that. Knew I would enjoy them, but not that I would feel so protective of their feelings and their right to receive an excellent education. I've finally had some time to reflect this morning and this kept popping in my head as my biggest surprise so far."

and it's true. totally unexpected, but happy. i'm so glad i get to fight for them. i'm good at that. i can DO that. makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. thank you god.
__________________________________

did i mention i like the song "Moves Like Jagger"?
i do.
it's running through my head as i type this.
___________________________________

my husband is awesome, supportive, encouraging and amazing.
i could not do this without him.
could NOT.
i miss talking to him so much during the day, but i love him even more.
___________________________________

my kids, friends, family and students are awesome.
i love them.
i am thankful.
so so grateful.
but MAN...i do NOT have it all together. :)

the end.
___________________________________

ps.
i still need help meeting my $1000 goal!
please go HERE to donate and be the change!!

Monday!

2011-08-22T23:25:00.002-05:00

Today was my first day of really following a schedule and starting into the curriculum at school.
It was a good day.
I am TIRED.
Paul is gone until Friday.
I had to take ALL the kids into school.
I drove through and grabbed supper and brought my computer with a movie.
The kids ate and watched a movie while I did lesson plans and made a million copies.

I'm thinking we may still be in our honeymoon phase, but man...I am really loving my class!
They are a great group of kids.
We started classroom jobs today and they took them very seriously.
I had them fill out job applications and apply for the positions. :)
Of course they all wanted to be teacher's assistant.

I started using the book nook today as well.
5 kids are assigned to that area each week.
And there is something about seeing your vision come to fruition.
It worked just as I planned.
They were so comfy and relaxed during our AR reading time.
It was so quiet in there you could hear a pin drop.
For a full 30 minutes.
At one point I looked around and seriously got teary.
"I am a teacher."
"This is my classroom."
"Could I possibly be more blessed?"
It was awesome.

Not an easy job.
I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off most of the day.
But I'm hoping I start to have more and more of those moments of pure thankfulness and calm.
Because it really is amazing.

(But seriously...WHY CAN'T I SLEEP???)

The photo wall...

2011-08-21T21:53:00.005-05:00

So.
We moved into our house last October.
I KNEW I wanted to create a photo wall on this big wall in my living room.
But it wasn't really on the top of my priority list.
We had much bigger fish to fry.
Even though we weren't going to do it right away, I was still dreaming.

Earlier this spring, I had an open house benefiting The Adventure Project.
At the open house, I purchased a vinyl decal for my wall through Uppercase Living.
It read *LIVE simply * SPEAK kindly * LOVE generously.
We pretty much declared this our family mission statement.
I knew I wanted to incorporate it into our photo wall.

So I started saving some of my favorite photos in a file on my computer.
I cropped them down to squares.
I decided on 16 photos.
I ordered 10x10's from WHCC.com.
**When selecting finishing items, I chose the styrene board for mounting.
They ended up being around $7.50/print.
I think they are EXCELLENT quality. I was so happy when they arrived in the mail.
I order from WHCC regularly, and love them.

next, i had to figure out how to attach them to the wall.
I decided to use 3M command strips.
They are kind of like velcro and they aren't supposed to damage your walls.
They photos are pretty light, so I didn't think I needed anything too super heavy duty.
Plus, I figure I will be replacing these photos with updated ones pretty regularly, so I wanted something easy to switch out.
They worked perfectly!

Now, you must know that Paul hung them. And he is pretty particular.
I am NOT.
We are a good team. :)

He has one of those laser levels.
And we decided to put one of the 3M command strips on the level to hold it in place for each row.
Did I mention Paul is also GENIUS?? He is.
It worked awesome!
If you look in the about photo, you can see it attached to the wall.

And then it was time to apply the Uppercase Living decal above the pictures.
And here's the final product...

I am IN LOVE with it.
I sat and stared at it for like an hour after we finished.
I'm not kidding.
The kids LOVE it, too.

It ended up being about $150 for the mounted photos and I THINK around $40 for the decal. I can't remember for sure on that though. Plus, the command strips were like $10. So we were at $200 exactly for the whole project. And I can update it for as little as $7 on a regular basis.

So fun.
You should do it.

**I downloaded the ROES option from WHCC and used that for ordering. When you become a client of theirs, you also get 5 free 8x10's. Added bonus. But it can be kind of confusing at first. I'm sure you could order the pictures with that type of mounting from lots of different online photo places. Just FYI.

Weekly update?!?

2011-08-20T10:32:00.002-05:00

i'm thinking i may just have to start doing weekly updates. at least until i get this life part under control. it's been a busy, wonderful, stressful, exciting, scary week.
a little rundown on what's going on....

AYLA:
she started full-time daycare on wednesday. i will be dropping her off every morning and paul will pick her up every afternoon. starting after labor day she will be going to preschool 2 mornings a week with 3 other little girls from her daycare. our daycare provider will be transporting her to and from preschool. she really enjoyed her first three days. i'm a little anxious about this first full week though. ugh. she has been SO tired. and she says she loves it. we shall see.

LANI:
the kids started back to school on thursday. lani hasn't had much to say about school other than she likes it. :) she's so funny. pretty easy going. she likes her teacher. so that's good. she is growing like a WEED and all she wants to eat is banana berry smoothies. seriously. like 3 a day. hard to say no when it's all good stuff in there. she's still love love loving horseback riding lessons. asks about them every day.

BRIGG:
brigg was super excited about heading back to school. there are 2 male teachers in 4th grade at his school, so he knew he was getting a man again. that made him happy. he has one of his friends from last year in his class. he is in a small gap of having NO sports right now. i'm loving it. we don't have to be ANYWHERE. it's great. he just seems so OLD lately. but still *my boy*. he defends me and is loyal to me no.matter.what. i love it. he's so protective. if he knows i'm stressed he'll just walk up and give me a hug. "it's ok mom." love him.

PAUL:
paul passed his tests to become a pest inspector. that's super exciting. we are just waiting on getting his license in the mail. he has been busy busy busy with inspections. the realtors love him. (of course). and after almost all of his inspections he gets an email from his clients saying how great he is. (again...of course). he loves doing them, but it does make for long long days as he does them after a full day of work. last week he literally had FIVE to do. he was exhausted. oh...and this is stressing me out...he is leaving for a week this week. ugh. not awesome timing. but we'll figure it out.

ME:
uuummmm...i've been fairly focused the past 2 weeks on school. meeting after meeting after meeting. piles and piles and piles of paperwork. lots of sorting to do this weekend. i have been in survival mode, but i feel like this week i'll be coming out of it. at school at least. at home is another issue. i haven't been to the grocery store in ages. we are trying to not waste the last of our tomatoes, so we've been canning after i get home from work until midnight. i haven't really slept for a couple weeks either. but my goal is to get my classroom organized this week as far as filing, etc, and THEN work on my house. oh...but i DID finish painting our bedroom...FINALLY. it was tore up for at least 6 weeks while i stripped wallpaper and scrubbed walls. it feels so great to have it all finished. we LOVE it.

lots of adjustments happening around here. but i think i see a light? maybe? it's been difficult to deal with missing back-to-school night with my own kids. i don't think i'm going to be able to be at ayla's first day of preschool on sept 6th. i am tearing up just thinking that. so obviously things are not perfect. but we'll keeping pushing through. growing and changing and evolving as people and as a family.

and for now, weekly updates might even be pushing it. but i do update my facebook regularly. you can always find me there. quick and easy, straight from my phone. simple is the name of the game.

yay for change. yay for evolving.

(oh...and while i have your attention, i am trying to reach my $1000 goal for the adventure project. go HERE to read about it and donate. i'm not even close, people. please help!! :))

More Adventure Project stuff....

2011-08-15T20:43:00.002-05:00

I'm here.
I'm alive.
Barely.
:)
Anxious, excited, scared, overwhelmed.
All great words to describe me right now.
BUT...I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget that my "stuff" is just so petty compared to the big problems of the world. I don't want to get wrapped up in me and forget about the big picture.
So i'm back with a fundraising page of my own.
I have set a $1000 goal to help support the women of Uganda who are rising up as female Community Health Promoters.
READ ABOUT MY EFFORT HERE.
and help work towards the 170,000 goal set by Jody Landers a couple weeks ago.
it's a big deal.
it's so much more than my anxiety and my fear.
and i so greatly desire to BE THE CHANGE.
join us.
and THANK YOU in advance. it means so much to me...

and why wouldn't she??

2011-08-08T01:02:00.001-05:00

oh yes she did.
she brought her fairy and princess dresses to the mountains.
why wouldn't she?

and her fairy dress MAY be getting a little small for her.
ya think??

oh ayla...

Fort Collins

2011-08-07T23:16:00.001-05:00

we spent our last two days of vacation in fort collins.
i have two words...dream city.
we love it there.
LOVE it there.
want to live there.
for real.
we didn't want to come home.
so we spent most of our time there trying to convince our children that this would be the perfect place for them to go to college.
we got LANI to agree.
of course...because they have an equestrian school at CSU.
brigg is still on the fence.
he says CSU is his #2 or #3 college choice.
yes...he is already numbering his college choices.
#1 just happens to be TCU.
i'm doing everything i can to sabotage that choice.
CSU is a much better option for US. :)
i'm so mad i didn't take more photos.
we even toured New Beligium Brewery and i forgot my camera.
i took some photos on my phone though.
i just haven't had time to sort through all the pics.

anyway...all that to say...WE HEART FORT COLLINS.
aaahhhh...wish we were back there right now.

Spent the day canning...

2011-08-07T23:03:00.001-05:00

we had lots-o-veggies waiting for us when we returned home.
paul was anxious to get them canned, so guess what we did today...

we really hadn't planned on it.
we had NO IDEA what we were doing.
paul started boiling the beets while i ran to the store to get all kinds of crazy things for canning.

i had gotten all our jars from a friend whose mom was done using hers.
i got our canning pot from another friend.
and i had bought Tattler Reusable Canning Lids a while back.
so we were ready to go.
we started at 10:00am.

we canned beets and onions, black bean and corn salsa and banana peppers.
it doens't sound like much.
but it took us 7 hours.
i'm not even kidding.

and that doesn't include the clean-up.
but it was totally fun.
we drank mike's hard lemonade and worked in the kitchen all day.
the kids helped off and on.
and we ended up with this...

(minus our two big quarts of banana peppers).
we are so proud of ourselves! :)
hoping to can LOTS of tomatoes next week.
they are started to turn red.

oh...and with leftover tomatoes we made brushetta.
and with leftover jalepenos we made jalepeno poppers.
plus cucumbers and bell peppers in dip for supper.
good, productive day. :)

now i go back to work tomorrow.
all day training and then i'm back full-time thursday.
yikes.
here's to a good week...

today

2011-08-06T22:03:00.001-05:00

Spent 7 hours in my classroom with just my mom.
It was awesome! Got SO MUCH accomplished! Moved furniture, worked on bulletin boards, sorted books, and mom sewed a valance for my very bare window. Before we finished Paul stopped by with the girls and he hung my valance for me.
It has definitely been a family affair.
So so thankful for all the help and support. Couldn't have gotten through today without my mom. Hope I can be this for MY kids some day.
Taking a deep breath tonight and feeling like there was progress made today.
Maybe I'll be ready by the 18th?!?!
Hopefully!

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HOME

2011-08-05T22:36:00.001-05:00

we are home.
so much for leisurely days in the mountains.
no more crisp mountain air and greasy hair.
i am in 100% PANIC MODE.
for real.
i felt little waves of it on our trip.
but i am very very good at pushing it to the back of my mind.
a master.
i thoroughly, 100% enjoyed every single second of our trip.
i'd get this wave of "holy crap...i have so much to do when i get home!"" now and then, but it never lasted more than 30 seconds.
and i'm glad i have that ability.
but now we are home.
i can honestly say that i have never ever ever ever EVER unpacked all my suitcases the minute i walked in the door.
i did tonight.
they are all empty.
clean clothes put away and dirty clothes in the laundry room.
and yikes...lots of dirty clothes!

we were driving home and my mind was spinning.
right before we left i had the kids trying on fall clothes to take along with us and NONE of it fit.
everything was too small.
i was thinking, "gosh, i'm going to have to take them school shopping before they go back!"
yeah...i have 2 free days before i'm back to work full-time.
literally.
2 days.
so i was scrolling through facebook on my phone and realized it was tax-free shopping weekend.
i knew we would be passing our outlet mall in 3 hours so i made an executive decision.
we were ALL going to stop and power shop for shoes and jeans on our way home.
which was hysterical.
because everyone was seriously still in their pajamas at this point.
this is how i work, people.
MULTI-TASK.
we did it.
kids all got shoes and pants.
tax-free.
AND...did you know you could use your AAA card to shop at tanger outlet mall?
i didn't until today.
got an extra 10% off.
NICE!

we pulled in the driveway and unloaded the car.
i unloaded all the suitcases and put them away.
we pick the dog up between 7 and 9 am tomorrow morning.
i am meeting a co-worker at the school at 9 to let me in the building.
i am working ALL. DAY. LONG.
i need to feel settled.
i have an all day training on monday.
i have tuesday and wednesday "off" (but do have dr. appts)
and then i start new teacher orientation on thursday and friday.
all teachers are back full-time on monday.
yeah.
can you say PANIC?!?!?!?!

it was an awesome week.
hoping i have time to document before i'm drowing in the sea of teaching.
and pretty sure i'm not smarter than a 5th grader, so i have a lot to do to prepare.
i just keep hearing in my brain...
"back to life...back to re-al-i-ty."
yep.
we are home.
goodnight...

oh ayla.

2011-08-04T14:27:00.001-05:00

Note the sign behind her.
No idea what we're going to do with her.

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The Adventure Project

2011-08-04T00:38:00.003-05:00

While we were up on the mountain, The Adventure Project launched it's latest campaign.
It has to do with HEALTH in Uganda.
As always, I am blown away by the co-founders of this organization.
They are amazing.
They have been working hard to get this campaign launched and it is incredible.
Watch this to learn a little more about it...

Uganda's poor recount how Living Goods has changed their lives and improved their health. from Living Goods on Vimeo.

There are a couple ways you can help support this effort.
1. BUY a bag - $42. Each tote sponsors one medical bag for a healthcare promoter in Uganda.
2. INVEST in a female health promoter - Each woman cares for 700 people in her community. Any amount would benefit Living Goods.
3. JOIN Jody - This is huge. You can read Jody's story HERE. Of all The Adventure Project's campaigns, this one has been the most personal for Jody. She has decided she wants to raise $1 for every mother in Africa last year who died during childbirth. That is $170,000. HUGE goal. But I believe she can do it. Will you consider helping out? Many are donating directly to her page in honor of each child they birthed, or each hour they were in labor. Go check it out and follow along at the bottom. You can even create your own fundraising page if you choose.

I just have to reiterate how much I believe in The Adventure Project. In the women running it. In their way of viewing "GIVING". It's not charity. It is empowerment. It is CHANGE. I love it. I believe it. And I hope you seriously consider joining us!

Rockies v Phillies

2011-08-03T22:56:00.001-05:00

we made it down the mountain.
dropped off some things at my aunt and uncle's house, EVERYONE showered in 20 minutes flat.
quickly out the door to make it to the 1:10 Rockies game.
this was a big deal.
it was our first MLB game with the entire family.
lani and ayla's first ever.
we were nervous.
and if you had spent any time with ayla over the past couple weeks, you would have been too.
she has been in RARE form.
but it was a success!!
SO SO SO fun!
we made it through the entire game.
not one complaint.
photos...

and we drove directly from coors field to ft collins.
quick supper and swimming.
kids are SOUND asleep.
we are in REAL BEDS.
we are CLEAN.
it feels good.
it has been an excellent combo of nature and camping and city and comfort.
tomorrow we tour New Belgium Brewery at 4:30.
that's our only plan.
other than convincing our children that CSU is the perfect college for all of them to attend. :)
and now i'm going to sleep.
in a bed.
with air conditioning.
and clean pj's.
aaahhhhhh.....

happy birthday to paul

2011-07-31T22:08:00.001-05:00

Today was Paul's birthday.
When I was planning this trip I intentionally planned it over his birthday.
He loves this place. We BOTH love this place. I couldn't imagine a better gift for him.
About 13 years ago we were introduced to this hike up to a quartz mine from my aunt and uncles property. It was 11 years ago that we hiked it last. Just months before we found out we were pregnant with Brigg. We have so many photos from our hikes up there. Just the 2 of us. SUCH DIFFERENT PEOPLE back then. I hardly recognize us.
So it was fitting that we hike up the mountain again today, with our 3 children, 11 years later.
Justvas amazing as we remembered. Completely different feel with the kids.
So much better.
WE are so much better. But man, we still have a long ways to go.
So thankful we get to do it together.
Happy birthday stinks.
Love you so much.
(Oh...and fyi. ..the kids are in bed and we r recovering from our hike with the children by sitting by the fire with a bottle of tequila.)
Fun.
:)

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and we see mountains....

2011-07-30T13:41:00.001-05:00

What is it about the mountains?
It makes me emotional.
We miss it here. Feels so good to be back.
And the look of amazement in the kids' eyes as the mountains came into view was priceless.
Happy doesn't even begin to describe it.
Let vacation begin....

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oh my.

2011-07-26T21:46:00.001-05:00

the following photo and words are completely unrelated.
i don't have time to think, let alone put together a good blog post.
this will have to do. :)

he's somethin'.

(and i STILL can't believe he's 10!)

speaking of swimming pools...
lani has swimmer's ear in BOTH ears
AND
a double ear infection.
we have drops and antibiotics and ib prophen and tylenol.
her ear drops were $45 AFTER insurance.
seriously?!?!
highway ROBBERY if you ask me.

i purchased a couch for $5 at salvation army.
it's SWEET.
ha!
and 2 chairs and a rug.
all for my classroom.
it's going to be like a mini living room.
each week 5 students will be selected to sit there during our silent reading times or free times.
think it will work?
i hope so.
i don't want it to end up being a fight over whose turn it is.
i want to get a big bookshelve and a floor lamp as well.
it's going to be TOTALLY cute.

plus, i got SUPER adorable fabric to cover my bulletin boards and to make valences for my window.
i just want to get everything IN there. the weekend we come back from Colorado is when it will happen.
paul has agreed to help me.

today at the doctor's office the nurse came out to call lani's name.
ayla led the way.
the nurse looked her in the eye and said, "oh my! she's ORNARY!"
really??
ya think??
it took her all of 2 seconds to know this about her.
it wasn't a question.
it was a flat out statement.
ugh...what are we going to DO with this child??

i have lots to do.
that was totally random.
but i wanted to get a few of these things down before i forgot.

love this...thanks jody

2011-07-26T17:42:00.000-05:00

May God bless you with a restless discomfort about easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships, so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.

May God bless you with holy anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.

May God bless you with the gift of tears to shed with those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you really can make a difference in this world, so that you are able, with God’s grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.

(The Fourfold Franciscan Blessing)

monday

2011-07-25T09:33:00.002-05:00

stayed up well past 1 am stripping wallpaper. actually STEAMING wallpaper.
which made my room well over 200 degrees, i swear.
but it's off.
i just need to scrub the walls before i prime it.
can't wait for this room to look like OURS.
hoping to finish it before we leave on friday.

ayla got her hair CHOPPED off.
photos to come.
but i was just so tired of her screaming when i brushed it.
she finally agreed her life would be better with short hair.
she was right.
she is happy.
:)

i've already checked 4 things off my list this morning! YAY!!
heading out to run errands this AM while brigg is at a play date all day.
dinner with friends tonight.
it IS margarita night at los lomas. sweet!!

got an email from my aunt moya. we are staying at their property next week in the rockies.
i almost teared up reading it. for real.
we LOVE them. we spent lots and lots of time with them when we lived in denver.
she remembers things that we love and mentioned them in her email to me.
and now i am officially bubbling over with excited of our arrival on saturday.
they will be at the property when we arrive on saturday with fixed tecates in hand...waiting for us. (don't ask what they are. you don't want to know. not for the weak!)
they are staying with us saturday and then we have the rest of the week on our own to explore.
I CANNOT WAIT.
so anxious to share our love of this place with our kids.
good thing i'm excited about starting a new job or we may have never come back. :)

busy week ahead.
all good.
can't wait.

no pics

2011-07-24T12:35:00.002-05:00

crazy summer.
it has been an awesome crazy summer.
it's coming to an end and i haven't done everything i wanted to!!
so i'm still trying to squeeze it all in!
we leave on a family trip for our little family of 5 on friday in the rockies.
SO excited about it!!
just coming off 3 weeks of madness but totally joyful fun with family and friends.
i start back to school august 11. as a new teacher i have 2 full days of new teacher orientation before school starts.
it's bittersweet. i'm excited to get started, but not ready for summer to be ending so soon!
oh, and i'm totally scared about ayla being in daycare full-time. lots of anxiety surrounding that subject. ick.
i'm off to make lists or something. try to organize the thoughts in my brain.
lots to do.
trying to soak up every second of TODAY while preparing for what's ahead.
not always an easy task.
Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight. ~Benjamin Franklin

i truly believe this...

2011-07-21T23:58:00.000-05:00

found on departika

and this is pretty much all i've been doing this summer.
living life.
but i do believe that it will breed some amazing work in the months ahead.
soaking it all up.
right now.

this one cracks me up...

2011-07-19T00:43:00.001-05:00

there's a chance he's got a little Stewart in him...

i adore her...

2011-07-19T00:29:00.001-05:00

and to see her joy on these days with the horses is just priceless.

The vineyard....

2011-07-17T19:53:00.001-05:00

donna and 3 of the nieces and nephews left before noon.
tate was still with us though as we left for Ardon Creek.
They had live music and wine tasting.
we brought the kids and the dog.
we laid out a quilt and split a bottle of wine and then paul fell asleep.
Camp Cassie may have been a little too much for him. :)
the best part of our day?
donna and steve were there!!
so even though paul was sound asleep in the 100 degree weather, i got to chat chat chat with donna and steve! yay!!
and they also love playing with our kiddos!!

it was a great afternoon!
then sean met us there to pick up tate.
but he quickly realized that it was much to hot to pass up a dip in the pool.
so we all headed back to our house to take a swim.
sean, tate, donna and steve!
fun fun!!
a great end to a great weekend!
already planning for camp cassie next year!

paul

2011-07-17T14:40:00.001-05:00

Uummm....camp Cassie did Paul in.
Seriously.

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And then they were gone...

2011-07-17T12:01:00.001-05:00

Our tie dye creations modeled by the cutest kids ever!! :)

It was a perfect weekend!
We honestly had NO problems at all.
The kids played well, ate well, slept well and handled the madness well!
There were a couple "only child" kids here, and I was a bit concerned, but they did AWESOME.
We kept them running the whole time.
And I can't wait until next year!!
Hopefully we'll have a couple more here next year.
(hint hint, chris and brenda!!)

And now I'm going to the vineyard.
Wine sampling is in my near future....
:)

the rest of DAY 2...

2011-07-17T11:51:00.001-05:00

what is camp without tie dye?
:)
the kids loved it and my hands are going to be tie dyed for months.
guess they put those rubber gloves in there for a reason!

and then we had a group swim followed by a campfire at our park across the street.
paul cracks me up sitting in the background.

he is a professional wienie roaster, too! :
ha!

i'm serious.
he was awesome.
could NOT have done this without NANA B and PAUL.
this was not their idea, but they were amazing.
thank you!!

after the campfire we got the little ones to sleep and the big ones had a night swim.
they were so fun!

and really, the whole weekend went perfectly!
busy busy.
the "keep them busy every second of the day" strategy was a huge success!

DAY 2...Wild Cat Den

2011-07-16T13:31:00.002-05:00

it was up and at 'em fairly early this morning.
we wanted to get a hike in before the heat took over.
plus, paul (one of our very best couselors!), had an inspection at 1:00.
and we needed him.
you'll see why in a minute.

remember the toilet paper rolls i've been collecting?
this is what i used them for...

really only tate and ayla enjoyed them, but they were cute.

paul should be a nature guide.
seriously.
he knows the best things.
and he's so patient with the kids.
and gives them all kinds of fun facts about things they find.
i love him.

i think they found some sort of cocoon here in this photo...

which was so perfect because just minutes before i had asked macy what she was going to look for to track in her nature journal and she said "a chrysallis".
i think 3 people said, "what's a chrysallis?"
and i said, "kind of like a cocoon!"
then paul found one.

and we set the timer for ONE group photo.
i'm pretty impressed.
most everyone looking and smiling.
because really, it was totally fun.

and one of the main reasons we needed paul...

we had a little "incident" yesterday.
ayla hurt her knee on the trampoline.
i don't think it's broken or anything, but it's very sore.
there was NO WAY she was going to be able to hike for any period of time on it.
so paul decided to use a stroller as a wheel chair.
it was hilarious at wild cat den.
not prime stroller terrain.
but he made it work.
did i mention i love him?

and drew got to be on paul's back all day.
which he HATED for about 2.4 seconds.
then he was all about it.

gorgeous...

this is the FIFTH frog we have found this weekend...

best friends....

um yeah...we only use the VERY BEST couselors at camp cassie.

we stopped for granola bars and water bottles.

and much to my frustration, we left one of our VERY FAVORITE thermos water bottle by the water.
so annoying.
we love them, but they are not cheap and it makes me very irritated when we lose one.

a great day so far.
babies are sleeping like...well...like babies.
and our rock star counselor, NANA B, is at the pool with the big kids.
i'm setting up our craft for this afternoon.
we are about halfway through the weekend already.
wow!

Camp Cassie...DAY 1

2011-07-16T00:22:00.002-05:00

so here's the strategy...
keep the children BUSY every single minute of the day.
our schedule...

donna arrived at 5:00 with the last of the children.
i had supper ready and we were eating by 5:20 and out the door to an activity at saulsbury bridge by 5:50.
we are efficient. :)

we took all the kids down by the cedar river.
they got dirty.
and were perfect angels.
for real.
it was fun.
a million pics to prove it...

hadley was on my back the whole time.
barely made a peep.
it was awesome.
donna was in charge of drew.
worked out perfectly.
the rest of the kids were completely entertained and self sufficient!

(oh...and in case you are wondering...this was a city activity, so there are some random people in some of the pics!)

the whole crew minus donna...

yeah...we did baths...

when we got home it was baths and bed for the babies.
big kids had a night swim until 9:00.
then baths and bed.
i'm declaring day 1 a HUGE success.
i love them all so much!
and now i sleep.
because tomorrow's our long day!
and it may or may not involve a hike, a picnic, the splash pad, tie dying, swimming, a campfire and the trampoline.
yikes.
goodnight!

yep...he's just 10 now

2011-07-15T23:58:00.001-05:00

and just like that i have a 10 year old.
i give myself one day of reflection.
of depression.
of disbelief that i have a 10 year old.
then that's it.
someone asks how old my kids are, it's 10, 7 and 3.
and gosh...i can't even begin to describe how much i love this kid.
seriously....look at the picture.
don't you just want to squeeze him?!?
ok...maybe it's just me.
:)

on having small children...

2011-07-15T10:12:00.002-05:00

i love being a mom. LOVE it. i love the chaos and seeing life through the eyes of a child.
BUT...i also love being a wife and a friend and a daughter and a sister and on and on.
sometimes when you have small children, those other things seem to get pushed to the back burner.
as my children are getting older, it is much easier to wear those other hats. but there have been several years in my recent past where i felt like i was just MOM.

as i think about having 3 young kids, i think the hardest part is that you don't want to burden anyone by asking them to take care of them. and you can't really afford a sitter for a weekend so you can have some time with your husband, or your friends or whatever.

all my siblings and paul's siblings are in this same stage of life right now. so i decided this summer i wanted to give them the opportunity to GO do something without the responsibility of kids for 48 hours. i didn't want them to have to ask anyone to watch their kids. i didn't want them to feel any guilt. just a relaxing 48 hours.

so i came up with a plan. and i call it CAMP CASSIE. and it starts today. :)
i have planned a full schedule of events for all my iowa nieces and nephews. (so sad bode and boone can't be here!) they start arriving this afternoon. macy, hadley and drew are coming with my recruited camp "counselor", donna (paul's mom)! and sean is bringing tate. i have the schedule up on the chalkboard and i'm heading out for groceries right now. jennie is going to kansas city and lisa, tony, erin and luke are going to okoboji.

and WE will be here swimming, hiking, playing and eating. (and after the kids are in bed at night we will also be drinking wine.! ha!)
i'm SO excited. i can't wait to have this time with all the kids, but i'm also just really excited that my siblings get a weekend. it's like when you know you got the perfect gift for someone for their birthday. you just can't wait for them to open it! that's how i feel today. excited!!

so you probably won't hear much from me this weekend. and if you see a caravan of cars heading to wild cat den, that would be us. say a prayer for us! :)
happy weekend!

lots-o-tomatoes

2011-07-14T12:27:00.001-05:00

Better start studying up on canning!

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brigg...10...st. louis...bad blogger

2011-07-13T14:44:00.000-05:00

ok.
i'm turning into a bad blogger.
it's summer.
i'm starting to panic.
it kind of feels like NESTING.
i know full-time work days are coming SOON and i want to be prepared.
i want my house to be in order.
like the cleanest and most organized it's ever been.
ya know...start off on a good foot.
i want to soak up every single second with the kids because these moments will be fewer come august.
so blogging has taken a back burner.
but i also know that i love to go back and look at posts and read stories that i had forgotten.
i LOVE the blog.
my kids will love the blog one day, too.

so one major thing i neglected to blog about much is brigg's trip to st. louis with my sister and her family.
they made a big deal about his 10th birthday.
they surprised him with a 2 night trip to st. louis.
cardinals tickets.
children's museum.
zoo.
old spaghetti factory.
HUGE surprise.
we didn't tell him until they PICKED HIM UP to leave.
it was so fun.
and they had a blast.
you can read more about it on her blog.
they are awesome.
and my kids are so so lucky to have AMAZING aunts and uncles surrounding them.
everywhere they turn, they are there.
blessed.
blessed.
blessed.

Double Digits

2011-07-13T00:01:00.000-05:00

A decade

It’s official.

As of today, Brigg, you have been on this earth for a decade.

That doesn’t seem possible!

(photo taken the day you came home from hospital, 2001)

10 years ago today, you made me a mother and my life has never been the same.

I remember hearing “It’s a BOY!” and the tears started flowing.

One of the best days of my life.

(9 months)

You are a gift. I felt it that day and I feel it even stronger today.

As we age, your dad and I agree that there are fewer and fewer things that we know 100%...without a doubt.

But one of the things that we are certain of is our love for you and your sisters.

It never waivers.

It grows deeper each and every day.

(5 years old)

You have shown us grace as we try and parent you…our first born…our only son.

You have taught us how to forgive and how to love deeply.

You have an excitement for life that we adore and a passion for people that is so unique.

Today our prayer for you is this…

That you grow to be a man of God. That you chase after Him with passion and zeal. We pray that you continue to have that confidence and zest for life but that it is balanced with humility and compassion. That you know we will love you no matter what.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com
(6 years)

(June 2010)

And we also pray that we don’t smother that fire in you.

The one that spurs you to ask a million questions and beg to do crazy things.

That we encourage you to grow in your faith and are examples of the traits we so deeply want to develop in you.

I pray that today, and always, you feel from the depths of your being that as a child of God, a son and a brother…

You.

Are.

Loved.

With all the we are, Buddy, we love you.
Happy happy birthday to you.
(sniff sniff...)

Birthday celebrations

2011-07-09T22:41:00.001-05:00

Last night we had a birthday celebration for Bode and Brigg.
Bode turned 6 TODAY and Brigg turns 10 on Wednesday.
And no...I'm not talking about it.
Actually, I'm pretending it's not going to happen.
I fully believe in denial.
Sorry. I digress.

Anyway, Jennie made the boys a dirt cake.
It was adorable.
And we sang to them and they blew out candles.
Cute boys....

Then I got a babysitter and the "big kids" went out.
Bode decided he'd like to spend his last night in Iowa at our house.
I was so excited!
We love birthday mornings in the Burback household.
It was so fun to be able to share one with Bode!!
I set my alarm for the crack of dawn and I went and picked up donuts.
I pulled out the "Happy Birthday" banner that we have used a minimum of 12 times and put it up.
I stuck candles in the donuts and waited for Bode to wake up.

I'm not sure he knew what was going on at first. :)
But we all sang to him and he blew out the candles and we had donuts and milk for breakfast.

Then we had to bring him back to my parents so they could all leave and head back to Florida.
:( bummmer.
But we are so thankful for this time with them.
AND for this special morning with Bode.
Happy birthday buddy.
We love you so much!!

classroom

2011-07-07T10:37:00.001-05:00

I got in my classroom yesterday! It was so fun!
I measured walls and windows and bulletin boards and doorways.
I drew a map.
For real.
It was a blast.
And now my brain is spinning.
But I need your help.
I'm looking for book titles.
Around the 5th grade level.
I want to start building a classroom library.
I'd like classics and new, too!
This is so fun!!!
So share your kids' favorites or YOUR favorites from when you were a kid.
Mine was "where the red fern grows".
Loved it when Mrs. Muller read it to our class.
(I also loved " sweet valley high". Ha! Don't think ill provide that awesome literature for my students though!)
Help please! The more titles you can share, the better!

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Chris and Brenda visit...DAY 2

2011-07-06T23:32:00.001-05:00

trip to the park...

cutie cutie cuuuuuutieeee...

and how much do i love the next photo?
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!

all the grandkids with grandpa....

July 4, 2011

2011-07-05T00:32:00.001-05:00

it's going down in the books.
first 4th of july since brigg was born that there were no tears.
there was laughter.
and oooooo's and aaahhhhh's from the children.
progress people.
that is progress.
do you remember THIS?
thank goodness we have moved past that stage....

new camera app

2011-06-30T12:31:00.001-05:00

Trying out a new camera app on my phone. Its fun! Preparing to take off out of Seattle. Long day of travel ahead of me. Missing Washington and Jody already. My mind is spinning with all the things I have to do at home. Back to reality.

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reward

2011-06-29T01:18:00.001-05:00

eas we were approaching the bottom of the mountain and the end of our hike, jody said, "I cannot wait to eat creme brulee tonight!"
i replied with "oh my gosh...i cannot wait to sit down and drink a beer!"
we went to dinner and jody tweeted this photo posing the question
why are we friends?

it just works.
and i'm so thankful.

and it was the most beautiful thing ever

2011-06-29T00:40:00.003-05:00

so this could get a little long.
warning...lots of photos to follow.
and i hate that they don't even begin to do this place justice.

we spent all day yesterday in the city.
it was a blast.
but we decided to switch gears today and wear our tennis shoes.
we filled some water bottles and threw some snacks in a bag and started driving.
no plan.just drive in the general direction of the mountains and see where it takes us.
this was our view as we drove.

we hit Hamma Hamma Rd and Jody said, "Oh, that sounds fun!"so we turned.
and we drove a few more miles.
we hit a sign that said "Lena Lake Trail" and decided to stop.
this is what we saw.

and we thought it was the most beautiful thing ever.
we started hiking knowing that Lena Lake was 3 miles away.
we had no idea what to expect.
and it was like we were on a movie set.
so quiet.
almost scary.
as you can see...we were super scared.

we walked for what felt like 15 miles and then we heard water flowing.
jody said, "Oh! I think I hear it!"
only you can't actually HEAR a lake.
but sure enough as we walked further, the sound of water got louder.
and by the time we got here, it was roaring.
and we thought it was the most beautiful thing ever.

we decided that certainly wasn't a lake.
so we continued on and came to this super cute bridge.
and we thought it was the most beautiful thing ever.

then jody decided we should lay on the ground and become one with the earth.
ok...not really.
but she did think we should take photos of the trees...from the ground.
so we stopped and did that.
and i just kept saying, "seriously...this is the most beautiful thing ever!"

every corner we turned we found new and amazing sites.
i was at the point where i seriously could have started crying at any giving moment.
it was...
wait for it...
the most beautiful thing ever!

but then.
then we rounded a corner and saw this...

and it was like the definition of breathtaking.
i honestly sucked in my breath and felt the tears.
so gorgeous.
i wish you could hear the silence and smell the trees.
and as for today, that sight was the most beautiful thing ever.

at the edge of the water there were the most incredible campsites i've ever seen.
and paul and i will one day have a date here.
i promise.

oh thank you lena lake.
you were amazing today.
it was a day i will never forget.
and i swear we will be back.

most amazing hike

2011-06-28T17:53:00.001-05:00

Seriously so so happy.
Just went on an incredible hike to lake Lena.
Breathtaking.

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Seattle...Day 1

2011-06-27T23:34:00.001-05:00

i took the early morning flight today.
and with the time change i was IN jody's car by 11 am.
and we were in west seattle by 11:15 looking at this view...

we walked around west seattle.
had lunch at a cute mexican restaurant.
walked on the beach.
we realized that we have lots of photos together around the world. :)
muscatine, florida, colorado, africa and now seattle.
pretty awesome.
set the camera timer to document this place and time...

then walked to the water taxi to head over to downtown.
we walked past this house first.
now those are some FLOWERS...

we got off the water taxi and our first stop was the bubble gum wall.
ew.
kinda grossed me out, but at the same time was very impressive.

and then we hit the famous pike street market...

the fresh produce was awesome.
i loved people watching and taking a million pictures.

then we headed back to jody's house with a little tour along the way.
we fit in a ton today.
not sure yet what our plans are for tomorrow.
but i do know it's gorgeous here.
and i may just have to send for my family.

so thankful for this time in this place with this person.
what a gift.

pike street market

2011-06-27T17:21:00.001-05:00

Tour de Jody is in full force. And it's totally fun.
:)

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spontaneous

2011-06-27T07:51:00.001-05:00

Literally last min tix booked to go to Seattle. Last night I pricelined them around 7:00pm after driving 5 hrs home from storm lake. Departure time of 6:30 am from des Moines.
So so so grateful for my awesome hubby and mom and sister. Every scurried to make it work. Erin even opened her house for me to go crash there for a few hours before heading to airport.
I'm in Chicago now and boarding my plane to Seattle. Can't wait to squeeze Jody.
More later.
SEATTLE OR BUST!!!!

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FRIDAY!!

2011-06-24T10:06:00.002-05:00

i feel like linking the "It's Friday" utube video, but i don't have time. so just sing it in your head.

we are heading out for storm lake for the weekend.
so excited to hang out with the whole burback side.

it is GORGEOUS outside.
spent the morning in the garden. got caught up on weeding.
oh...and did you know there's a group of ladies in my neighborhood who do water aerobics monday, wednesday and friday mornings at 8:30 am? probably not. :) but i have been joining them. it's totally fun. and it doesn't hurt my back. added bonus. so after weeding i got to do water aerobics for an hour.

we are hitting up the library real quick this morning before we head out. brigg is finishing up his last book as the girls and i are showering and getting ready for the day.

i'm a 5th grade teacher. still giddy.

i hit up salvation army yesterday and got some things for my classroom. yes...i have a classroom. how awesome is that?!? :)

got brigg signed up for a 1 day Creighton Baseball Camp. he's so excited. and paul is about as excited as brigg. i think he's wishing he could take the day off and sign up for the camp himself.

we are planning and planning our trip to colorado. SO excited. we're talking a Rockies game, natural hot springs, horseback riding, tubing down the river, fishing and hiking up to a quartz mine. i literally teared up last night as i thought of our whole family in colorado together. we LOVE it so much there. like LOVE LOVE LOVE it! and we can't wait to do all these fun things with the kids there.

now i need to go clean out the car. and pack. and feed my children. and make my bed. and finish a load of laundry. and get to the library. happy weekend.
IT'S FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY.
:)

so i cried in the "Curves for Women" parking lot...

2011-06-22T11:12:00.003-05:00

there are lots of reasons why i may cry in the Curves parking lot, but this is a good one. :)
and i want to get it written down before i forget!
so last week i got a call to interview for the 5th grade teaching position at washington elementary school in muscatine. it came while lisa and i were lounging in the pool with all the kids.
i was ecstatic! 5th grade is my dream grade. i love washington school. it was an unexpected opening and i had kind of given up on getting a permanent job for the fall.
so i was pumped when the principal called to line up an interview.
the interview was set for 9:15 am on tuesday. i was sitting in the parking lot for about 10 minutes before trying to "cram".
i HATE these interviews with a panel of teachers/administrators. i just feel so unqualified. when they ask a question using buzz words that i don't know, or acronyms that i'm not familiar with, i panic. and there are lots of those buzz words and acronyms in the field of education.
but anyway, i took a deep breath and headed in.
their were 6 people seated around the table and a list of questions. i knew all of them. i had subbed lots at this school this year and felt a little more comfortable knowing all their names and faces.
they started going around the table and asking questions. it's so crazy trying to answer some of them when i've never had my OWN classroom. and i graduated 10 YEARS ago. so i feel totally out of the loop. but i just answered the best i could. and told them "i don't know how i will do that", if i didn't know!
then the end came. they asked if there was anything else i wanted to share. and i said, "not really. i just want you to know how excited i am about this opportunity. when i decided to stay home with my kids 10 years ago, it was a bit of a personal sacrifice for me. i had wanted to teach for as long as i could remember. (enter voice cracking and tears flowing...seriously...i cried. so so embarrassing.) and now that i've let myself consider the possibility of having a classroom of my own, it's just overwhelming!" (now enter giggling and apologizing for crying and principal searching for a tissue for me. yes...very embarrassing.)
geez...who CRIES at an interview?? apparently I do. ugh.
anyway, i went on to tell them that after my last job interview, that principal had called to tell me i didn't get the job and after i got off the phone, brigg said, "mom, did you win?" and i had to tell him no...i hadn't won this time. :) they laughed and thought that was pretty cute.
they said they would be in touch and i'd probably have to teach a lesson on thursday at summer school. so be prepared for that.

i decided when i was done and feeling pretty relieved that we should spend the day in davenport. mom and i took the girls to chik-fil-a for lunch and then did a little birthday gift shopping. after we got home, i left the girls with mom while i went to run an errand. as i was driving past CURVES, my phone rang. i saw that it was the principal at washington and i pulled over in CURVES parking lot because i figured i would have to write down a time and instructions for teaching my lesson on thursday.
i answered the phone and they first thing he said to me was "i just wanted to call and let you know that you can tell your son you 'won' this time!"
EEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!
i kept my composure long enough to thank him and discuss where to go from here and then i hung up.
and i literally cried in the "Curves for Women" parking lot. :)
good, happy, relieved tears.
it was kind of awesome.
because honestly, i had a HORRIBLE 1st grade year. seriously traumatized by my teacher. i vowed to become a teacher and never ever be like that when i was 7. i'm not even kidding.
my whole childhood i remember playing school. we had a giant chalkboard in our basement and school desks. i was always the teacher and jennie was my student.
i never wanted to be anything else.
i graduated 10 years ago and pushed that dream to the back of my mind.
and i'm so glad i did.
but this year while subbing it all came rushing back.
that dream of having my own classroom.
and i knew i was ready.
so the fact that i got this job was unreal to me. i didn't even think there would be any positions available this year, let alone a 5th grade position at one of my favorite schools!
it's been an awesome 24 hours. i'm floating on air. i know this won't be perfect and there will be days that i wonder what in the world i was thinking being so excited about getting back into the school, but for today i'm going to let myself float. and enjoy the ride.
i won! :)
and i couldn't be happier!!
gosh...i'm a TEACHER. that's awesome.

Date afternoon/night...

2011-06-19T22:58:00.001-05:00

so paul and i had date night last night.
and let me tell you...it was awesome.
i lined a babysitter up for 2:30.
yes...in the afternoon.
i wanted to go here without kids...

we had been here a week or 2 ago and i couldn't concentrate with all the children.
and i knew i would thoroughly enjoy it alone.
or at least with paul.
and i was right.
it was so awesome.
everywhere i turned there was amazing inspiration.
i want this on my wall....

oh...and did i mention i wore lipstick?
yeah...it was a big big deal. :)

and i'm not kidding.
it was just plain...

here is just a sampling of little pieces of inspiration that surrounded me while i was there.
i couldn't stop taking photos.
even just little pieces of paper with encouraging words on them hanging in hidden spots.
i nearly cried on numerous occasions...

after our stop in kalona,
we hopped back in the car and headed to iowa city for the rest of the night.
see...lipstick still applied.

we had plans to stop for a drink and then grab dinner somewhere fun.
but once we found ourselves in this awesome beer garden, we didn't move.
sat there for hours.
talked, laughed, ate and drank RANGER on tap.
(that's a rare find in our parts!!)
we were giddy.

found our way home feeling happy and thankful.
i love this guy so much.
i'm not sure i tell him enough.
he's awesome.
and we need to do this more often...
:)